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Chris Chase

Chinese soccer team makes American soccer team look good

Fourth-Place Medal

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China cares more about soccer success than winning dozens of Olympic golds or it's booming economy, contends a Chinese sports historian in a recent Washington Post editorial. The only problem is, China sucks at soccer. Like, really, really badly.

Xu Guoqi says hundreds of millions of Chinese people only care about winning a soccer medal at these Olympics, yet points out that the Chinese National team recently lost to Iraq in a World Cup qualifying match. Iraq! That'd be pathetic even if Iraq wasn't in its current state.

Why would a country love a sport they're unable to play? Xu attempts to explain (the Chinese think they invented soccer, it's the most democratic of games, etc.) but I still don't understand. Why invest so much pride in something so terrible? I mean, there's a reason Phoenix isn't a football town.

Read the whole column, if only so you get to the final line, which is unintentionally awesome.

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