Of all the toilet tales to come out of Russia over the past week, this one takes the proverbial cake.
Surely, by now you're aware of the potty talk swirling around the Sochi Olympics ― the infamous double-toilet stall, three chairs with a toilet view, a "please do not flush toilet paper down the toilet" warning, the glorious faux mountaintop toilet and U.S. bobsledder Johnny Quinn's trapped-in-the-toilet saga. But a Turkish businessman may have just discovered the most grandiose toilet in all of Russia.
[Photos: Best of #SochiProblems]
Celebrating the Netherlands' speed-skating dominance with a friend, Corendon Dutch Airlines chairman Atilay Uslu was about to grab a late-night snack when he stopped to relieve himself. Except, his choice of outdoor urinal just so happened to be the fence guarding Russian President Vladimir Putin's Sochi villa.
While it remains unclear if the bathrooms in Sochi's media hotels are under video surveillance, this particular toilet was most certainly monitored by cameras. A handful of Russian soldiers descended upon Uslu, according to United Press International, and they definitely weren't singing "Get Lucky" in chorus.
[Video: Gold medalist's smoothie]
Although, Uslu may well have been up all night. The Turkish native claimed the soldiers discussed a "one-way ticket to Siberia" and detained him in a bunker for an hour, questioning his knowledge of the prestigious toilet he chose, according to DutchNews.nl. Eventually, they returned his belongings, including a wallet that was reportedly $1,364 lighter. Uslu's company sponsors many Dutch skaters, who have already captured three gold medals, and he was allegedly carrying some $4,000 to purchase more skating tickets.
"I don't really feel like trying to get it back," Uslu told UPI.
Probably a smart move when you've urinated on a former KGB officer's home.
More Winter Olympics coverage on Yahoo Sports:
- Sochi Olympics