Life hurts when your favorite player gets traded, but probably no more than it usually hurts being a San Jose Sharks fan.
One young fan’s pain over the trade of Ryane Clowe to the New York Rangers was captured on YouTube and posted to the fabulous Reddit hockey forum. Aw, everyone give him a virtual hug.
Needless to say, we have some issues with this lament*, emotional as it was.
• Never tell a child “it’s just hockey.” This isn’t some PIXAR movie or an overinflated balloon that popped. It’s life or death.
• This kid has it right: If the Sharks and the Rangers face each other and Ryane Clowe is still a member of the latter next season, he will fight a Shark. Most likely Joe Thornton. And that is going to put this kid in a really awkward situation, unless of course he’s one of those Sharks fans that wants to see someone beat the ever-loving piss out of Joe Thornton. And even then he'd probably hope it's Marleau instead.
• Contrary to our narrator's beliefs, It won’t be fun when the Sharks play the Rangers, because this youngin' can’t help but root for one’s success at the expense of the other. If there’s a life lesson to be drawn from this, it’s “choose sides.” And frankly, with the state of American politics in 2013, we don’t need that lesson taught to impressionable youth.
• Now, does this kid seriously not know you can trade Ryane Clowe to the Sharks on NHL ’14 or is he attempting to milk sympathy here? Because trading players is, like, a hallmark of that series. Hell, he could create Brian Leetch and Mike Richter and put them on the Sharks with Ryane Clowe, just to mess with the virtual Rangers.
• “I’m sad about everything the Sharks have done. I’m so mad at them.” That sound you heard was the entire Bay Area beginning the slow clap.
* This is, of course, all in good fun and we feel terrible that this young man has to root for the Rangers. Although the Yankees barbeque cover reveals problems deeper than we first anticipated.