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Ryan Lambert

Trending Topics: Insert your favorite 'Price is wrong' pun here

Ryan Lambert
Puck Daddy

Trending Topics is a new column that looks at the week in hockey according to Twitter. If you're only going to comment to say how stupid Twitter is, why not just go have a good cry for the slow, sad death of your dear internet instead?

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Some people don't like when it happens, but it's pretty easy to understand why people who go to hockey games boo players on their team for bad performances.

You shell out, say, $45 bucks per ticket to sit middle loge with a fat guy and a six-year-old kid with no attention span on either side of you, on top of $20 for parking and the cost of a couple wobbly pops. That's a couple hundred bucks no problem.

And if the team, or a specific player, plays like crap? Of course you're gonna boo. And you're right to do it.

Even in the first preseason game. It happens, especially when you get into a crowd where one drunk guy who came down from Trois-Rivières and had a few Molsons can start a whole chorus.

But if you're sitting at home watching on RDS, you really have no excuse not to keep it together. But, perhaps not surprisingly, people didn't handle it well.

"WTF CAREY PRICE(notes) CMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!," said one wag.

"I hate Carey Price. I hate him," seethed another.

And still they came. Preseason game or not, people were completely and utterly ready to find the nearest rail on which they could run Price out of town for 30 minute of preseason work.

"Wow. Good job, Carey Price already proving he's up to the challenge with a nice 4 goals on 16 shots. Nice work, piece of [expletive]. #HALAKISEPIC," noted one circumspect student of the game.

"Carey price needs to be traded... poor guy is never going to flourish in montreal," added another MENSA candidate.

And that this type of rage could be inspired by half a game on the first day of the Habs preseason should be an indication that the quality of his performance, the time of year or the opponent have nothing whatsoever to do with the booing. What Carey Price was subjected to this week was something more than booing a player. It was booing the concept of a player.

(Coming Up: Two Capitals, a Coyote and an Oiler join Twitter; please stop bothering Mike Commodore(notes); your BizNasty moment of the week; and the utter hilarity of "NHL Reality Shows.")

In general, Habs fans were clearly onboard the Jaroslav Halak(notes) bandwagon for obvious enough reasons, since he led a thoroughly mediocre team to an Eastern Conference Final for the first time since 1993. It seems that any Carey Price performance, no matter how inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, that doesn't live up to the type Halak was turning in on a regular basis down the stretch last year is going to be widely and loudly criticized.

And that's not especially fair.

Price wasn't the one that dealt Halak to the Blues, and he wasn't the one who only brought in Alex Auld(notes) as a poor excuse for an insurance policy. He can only play the game, and with the defense in front of him as it's currently constituted, he's not going to be able to do that especially well.

The Habs likely caught lightning in a bottle with Halak last year. No matter what Price (or any goalie in the league, really) does, they can't reproduce what Halak to help the Habs squeak into the playoffs. It was a superhuman run, but it's now apparently the standard Price has to live up to; though giving up four goals in half a game isn't going to help him any.

But at least it'll give us a chance to read another 25 or 30 "The Price is wrong" headlines this year. Those are always a hoot.

Yet more NHLers on Twitter

It seems that when an NHL player starts tweeting, he quickly encourages his teammates to do the same. That was at least true this week when Eric Fehr(notes) convinced Capitals defenemen Karl Alzner(notes) (@karlalzner) and John Carlson(notes), American Hero (@JohnCarlson74) to join up. If you're Canadian, you might remember the latter as the dude who made you cry last January.

Yet another Coyote joined as well: Kyle Turris(notes) (@kyleturris). There have to be a half dozen of those guys on Twitter now. I'm still holding out hope for Ilya Bryzgalov(notes).

And as I typed the above paragraph, Edmonton Oilers defenseman Jim Vandermeer(notes) apparently joined as well, inspired by Mike Commodore.

Speaking of, please stop bothering Mike Commodore

By now we've all heard a hundred reports about how the Oilers and Blue Jackets are working on a trade that would send maligned defenseman Sheldon Souray(notes) to Columbus in exchange for top NHL tweeter Mike Commodore.

But because he's on Twitter and a perfectly nice guy, he's going to respond to people who ask him about the rumors. Asked one fan, "Are the rumors true you for Sheldon Souray?"

Replied Commie, "I have no idea, I know just as much you do."

Please stop asking him about this. Who would want to be reminded that they might have to move to Edmonton?

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In light of the new Capitals/Penguins HBO series, apparently some people want to see more hockey-related reality TV (besides Junior Seau on a Zamboni for VERSUS). So here's a bunch of proposals.

@paolobelmonte: "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Have Your Contract Rejected, And Become A Millionaire Again?"

@masson223: "Cake Mike Bossy"

@codebaboon: "The Real Sister-In-Laws of Housewives of New Jersey Devils"

@FeartheFin: "Sons of Anttiniemi"

@ChrisDilks: "Is this CHL alum smarter than a 5th grader?"

And your winner:

@mymclife: "Cash Cab with Patrick Kane(notes)"

That was a slam dunk.

Pearls of Biz-dom

We all know that there isn't a better Twitter account out there than that of Paul Bissonnette(notes). So why not find his best bit of advice on love, life and lappers from the last week?

BizNasty on acceptance: "I was medium, but I was kidding I embraced the nerds. Had to get my homework done somehow. Bing bang boom."

If you've got something for Trending Topics, holla at Lambert on Twitter or via e-mail. He'll even credit you so you get a thousand followers in one day and you'll become the most popular person on the Internet! You can also visit his blog if you're so inclined.

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