Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• It's Boston Bruins standout Brad Marchand's day with the Stanley Cup and, as is tradition, he's eating cereal out of where Kris Draper's kid pooped. Around 2,000 people in Halifax celebrated as Monday was declared "Brad Marchand Day," in which everyone with a valid Halifax driver's license must dance topless on a bar while holding a bottle of champagne before midnight or else face incarceration. [Metro News]
• Preseason NHL tickets in Canada are preposterous, argues Dean Eastman: "A quick review of pre-season ticket prices supports my assertions: Ottawa: Prices range from $7.50 (standing room) to $150.00 per ticket. Montreal: Prices range from $24.00 to $135.00 per ticket. Toronto: Prices range from $35.50 to $743.50 per ticket. How can a family of four justify spending outrageous sums of money to watch their favourite teams in person during the pre-season alone?" [Our Hometown]
• Mirtle on the odd diet that Gary Roberts has NHL players using as part of his fitness regimen: "Players are assigned a diet that has no wheat, no sugar, no soy and no processed or packaged foods. Everything must be organic, from deli meats on up, and the 26-item list of what players should eat includes goat's milk, sunflower sprouts, mung beans, salba, chia and hemp." [Globe & Mail]
• Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman James Wisniewski will attend the Cincinnati Reds' game on Aug. 30 as a guest of the MLB team, where they will all laugh about how much money he'll make despite the NHL having a salary cap. [Blue Jackets]
• How do the Minnesota Wild's changes this summer affect Mikko Koivu? "He'll score somewhere around 30 and assist near 50. Another All-Star Game appearance, a Selke nomination and maybe even a Finlandia Vodka sponsorship are all in this future." [Wild Puck Banter]
• You know how a bunch of older gentlemen are still looking for work while young whippersnappers are taking all the jobs for lower pay? Yeah, it happens in hockey too. [Lighthouse Hockey]
• What can we expect from Jaromir Jagr this season? "No one is doubting his ability, but how he handles the travel and how his body deals with the punishment will determine how well he performs. Will the weight of his contract, the loss of some offensive firepower in Philadelphia and his age slow him down or will he prove a lot of people wrong this season?" [Houses of the Hockey]
• "NHL Relocation To Hawaii: Examining The Possibility Of The Honolulu Islanders." Yes, there are even jersey designs. [SB Nation]
• Congrats to our good friend Craig Custance for his new gig with ESPN. Like we've always said: Their online hockey coverage should not be judged by their on-air hockey coverage. LeBrun, Burnside, Custance are must-reads. [@ESPN_NHL]
• Montreal Canadiens blogger confesses secret affinity for the Leafs after meeting Tim Connolly. This can only end in tragedy. [A Winning Habit]
• The mask for Oscar Alsenfelt, Växjö Lakers, in Elitserien, created by David Gunnarsson, www.daveart.com. Is it just us, or would the right side of that thing make a bitchin' Capitals mask?
• Mike Brophy on the Buffalo Sabres: "Regier has never had the luxury of managing the team with money to spend. In fact, you could argue he was forced to manage with one arm tied behind his back. That all changed when Pegula opened his wallet and instead of moths flying out of it, there was money. Lots and lots and lots of money. With that, though, comes a new set of problems. Just because you can spend doesn't mean you will spend it on the right players. For years the New York Rangers have been one of the most free-spending teams in the NHL and it did not translate to success on the ice." [Sportsnet]
• A couple of days late, but Tom Benjamin on the Rick Rypien tragedy and the role of fighters in the game is worth a read: "The jobs almost always involved gratuitous violence. None of it is critical to the game of hockey. The league and the officials are supposed to subdue opponents who threaten stars and only a sports league should administer payback. No one can seriously suggest otherwise." [Canucks Corner]
• Stat nerd alert: Here's how all 30 NHL teams would stack up if SHGA were factored against the base power play conversion rate. [Raw Charge]
• Catching up with remarkably nicknamed fighter Frank "Seldom" Beaton. The strangest game he played? "At Hampton, Virginia with the Hampton Gulls in the SHL. Every five minutes, both teams had to skate around in the same direction to raise the fog so we could see to play." [THN]
• Revisiting the Washington Capitals' "Club Scarlet." [The Hockey Writers]
• Picking up on our post about the charity point from over the weekend, Rangers Tribune offers this take: "I guess as a Ranger blogger I should be keeping my mouth shut about this topic. The Rangers finished last season with five overtime losses, which means they earned a total of five points over the course of the year via losses. For the Blueshirts, that's actually a pretty low number compared to years past. In prior seasons, like under the Renney era for example, they probably would not have made the playoffs without those overtime loss points." [Rangers Tribune]
• Battle of California takes a look at the NHL.com "redrafted" teams for the Anaheim Ducks, Los Angeles Kings and San Joe Sharks. [BoC]
• Finally, in honor of the last Puck Daddy Radio on The Score, here's Don Ferlazzo of Albany (follow him at @hellonskates for Albany Devils news) with an a cappella version of our theme song.
- Brad Marchand