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Puck Daddy

Puck Daddy presents: ‘Kiss from a Lowe’, for frustrated Oilers fans everywhere

Harrison Mooney
Puck Daddy

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We've had our fun with the Edmonton Oilers recently, "translating" Daryl Katz's letter to fans, chuckling at the jersey tossed onto the ice, and marvelling at the burgeoning anti-Kevin Lowe movement, with its massive billboards and "threatening" presence outside the Oilers' administrative offices. It's all been pretty incredible.

But we are not your enemies, Edmonton. We love you. We feel for you in this dark, dark time. And so we have decided to contribute to the anti-Kevin Lowe movement. Like all good movements, your grassroots campaigning is quite nice, but it's nothing without a song, as Lisa Simpson taught us well.

That in mind, Puck Daddy presents "Kiss From a Lowe", written and recorded in one hasty take by yours truly. May you be inspired, and godspeed in your efforts.

The lyrics:

There used to be a hockey franchise alone at the top
They became the team that won five Stanley Cups
Fans remained a group that was pleased with their club
But did you know that Kevin Lowe
Was then put in charge and he made them a bad hockey team?
Baby, I compare you to a team Kevin Lowe got to make
Ooh the more I see of you
The worse you appear, yeah
Maybe once Lowe is removed
The team will improve in their play?
There is so much a fan can tell you
So much they can take
Lowe remains in power, forever their pain, baby
To Daryl Katz he's an addiction that he can't deny
Won't you tell him it's unhealthy, someone?Cause did you know that Kevin Lowe
Was once put in charge and he made them a bad hockey team
Baby, I compare you to a team Kevin Lowe got to make
Ooh, the more I get of you the worse you appear, yeah
Maybe once Lowe is removed
The team will improve in their play
Lowe's been rebuilding the Oilers for eight years
They're still losing most games they play
They've restarted their rebuild like three freaking times
They restarted again yesterday
There is so much a fan can tell you
So much he can say
Lowe remains in power, forever their pain
To Daryl Katz he's an addiction that he can't deny
Won't someone tell him it's unhealthy, baby?
Cause did you know that Kevin Lowe
Has guided the team to be the worst team that they've ever been
Baby, I compare you to a team Kevin Lowe got to make
Ooh, the more I get of you, the angrier I feel, yeah
Maybe once Lowe is removed
The team will improve in their play?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hankering to go watch Batman Forever.

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Harrison Mooney is the associate editor for Puck Daddy on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!

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