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"You should get your nose fixed, dude." "I'm waiting for the right time, stupid."
When Patrick Kaleta returns from his 10-game suspension, he's going to have the look of a slightly different player.
No, not because the suspension has forced him to change his ways, although it might have -- we'll just have to wait and see. Rather, Kaleta will have a little different look because he's using his time away from the game for another form of personal improvement.
He got a nose job. From Buffalo Hockey Beat:
“I think they straightened it out for me,” Kaleta said this morning inside the First Niagara Center. “My down break left turned into a little fade now.”
Kaleta said his Oct. 10 fight with Columbus’ Jared Boll, seconds after he hit Jack Johnson in the head, was the “last straw” for the nose.
“I’m breathing great now, that’s all that matters,” said Kaleta, who was suspended 10 games for the hit.
No word on whether Kaleta asked his doctor to give him a Van Heflin.
As mentioned, Kaleta's fight with Boll was the demise of his nose. Makes sense. Watching the video again, the Sabres' agitator took some serious shots. Here's Boll destroying what remained of Kaleta's nose:
But it couldn't have worked out better for Kaleta. Not long after Boll went after him, the Department of Player Safety did the same, giving him enough time off for a little elective surgery. Next time he sees Boll, he should thank the Columbus winger for his contributions.
Sure, Kaleta claims he would have found time even without the suspension.
“Even if it was during games, I would’ve found a day to have it and then maybe a day to recoup and I would’ve been back at it,” he said.
But I doubt it. It takes more than two days to have and recuperate from a nose job.
Kaleta may be onto something here. If he ever decides he wants to fix something, for instance -- say, a slightly more rugged-looking jawline -- another headshot should give him more than enough time to recover from a chin augmentation.