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Ozymandias, lockout version; Semin may stay in Russia; Oduya to Thailand? (Puck Headlines)

Harrison Mooney
Puck Daddy

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• I absolutely had to share with you Redditor Sibolt's hockified, lockout-inspired version of Ozymandias. Nicely done, Sibolt. Next up on the list of British Romantic poetry rewrites: William's Blake's the Tiger. Bettman, Bettman, burning bright, in the midst of labour fight.

• Speaking of the lockout inspiring hockey fans to do curious things, I give you the best Reddit Hockey thread ever: Would it mess me up if I ate a puck? "Short answer: Yes. I have found a high correlation between puck consumption and terrible, terrible diarrhea and stomach pains... I have not noticed a statistically significant increase in goaltending ability." [Reddit Hockey]

[Nick Cotsonika: Pavel Datsyuk's magic act astonishes fans, teammates in Russia]

• Elliotte Friedman's 30 thoughts include this gem of a paragraph on why the league is upset right now: "The league is furious that 1) players 'confuse revenue with profits,'according to one owner and 2) the NHLPA kept them waiting 90 minutes in Toronto before the gong show of a get-together on Oct. 18 and 3) Donald Fehr was born." [CBC]

• Scott Burnside, on what the impending cancellation of the Winter Classic means for the league: "The obliteration of the NHL's marquee regular-season event is the symbolic crossing of the Rubicon, a stark acknowledgment that all that's been gained since the last ridiculous lockout ended has been in vain, has been frittered away by two sides so entrenched in their dislike and mistrust of each other that they are powerless to stop it." [ESPN]

• Alexander Semin joins the group of players saying he just might stay in Russia if he doesn't like the new CBA. The image he has in North America may be unfair to him, but this isn't going to help turn it around. [RSport]

• Johnny Oduya takes his talents to... Thailand? [Backhand Shelf]

• Blake Wheeler on why he headed  overseas: "It just got to the point where this is a big year for me and I just don't want to sit around and not be doing anything. It is a contract year for me. My goal is to help those guys and do the best I can over there. If the NHL gets resolved, then I'll be in game shape, ready to go and hit the ground running." [Winnipeg Sun]

[Also: KHL bends its own rules to allow Maple Leafs' Joffrey Lupul to play]

• Think you can end the lockout and get the players a good deal? Try Battle of California's "Choose your own adventure" game. [BoC]

• Reflecting on hockey's greatest contribution to Halloween: the goalie mask. [Rant Sports]

• If NHL stood for National Halloween League, who would play on Team Vampires? Well, since Greek myth espouses that redheads turn into vampires when they die... [Sporting Ajenda]

• The tricks and treats that every NHL team will receive this year. [The Hockey Writers]

• We know where the Islanders will be playing in three years, but there are still a lot of questions surrounding the franchise. [The Hockey News]

• Why you can be a Vancouver Canucks fan and still cheer for the Flames affiliate Abbotsford Heat, who play just down the road: the suckier the Flames are, the better the Heat get! [PITB]

• The St. Cloud University women's state hockey team was stranded in Rhode Island for two days thanks to Hurricane Sandy. Even more unfortunate? Power wasn't lost, so they were all able to do their homework! Yay! [SC Times]

[Slideshow: #NickInEurope photo diary from Moscow and Prague]

• I'm sharing this just for the insane headline: Bulldogs' Holland has the brain of a doctor, the touch of a surgeon and the will for bigger and better things. Is he building a better body, Frankenstein style? Nope, he's just a hockey player who's like a doctor and a surgeon, but waaaaay better! [The Spec]

• Lauri Korpikoski is tearing it up in the Finnish Elite League, and he's hoping coach Dave Tippett takes notice of his powerplay prowess. [PHT]

• Chris Kelly signs with HC Red Ice of the Swiss League. [CSNNE]

• CHL player Joshua Desmond has filed a suit claiming the league owes him approximately $12,000 in unpaid wages. This will not end well. [Toronto Star]

• Sidney Crosby's insane insurance costs are, as expected, proving to be an obstacle in his bid to play somewhere this year. [CBC]

• And finally, Sportsnet presents the "We Love Hockey" flash mob, which doubles as the "We love air horns" flash mob, apparently.

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