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Ryan Lambert

What We Learned: Sabres unleash the Furries; Kesler punked

Ryan Lambert
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Hello, this is a feature that will run through the entire season and aims to recap the weekend's events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact or stupid opinion about each team. Feel free to complain about it.

I had written a bunch of words about how the Sedins are really underappreciated that was set to lead this week's edition of WWL. Then I kind of tripped over this post while looking for a story about the Sabres, and it unfortunately forced the Sedins to the backburner in a hurry:

Lindy Ruff was the first to see it, as he began to laugh sitting at the front of the bus. Gradually, the rest of the team began to see what caused his reaction.

A horse. Well... a man dressed like a horse, was exiting the hotel lobby. ... Apparently we stumbled onto a mascot convention that was being held at the hotel. The technical term, we soon found, was a "furry" convention.

I'll repeat: the Sabres' hotel ahead of Saturday's Sharks game was also hosting a furry convention.

Drew Stafford(notes) provides an on-the-scene look via his Twitter: "There's a furry convention at our hotel in san jose! I think there's a fox and a zebra in the room next to mine. Could be a lynx though."

And later: "Nevermind just found out it's a half fox/half ferret...he refers to himself as a ferrox or fender. #furryfacts"

This has brought unimaginable joy to my day. I've been giggling for several minutes now. And then, my friends, I saw the pictures.

(Coming Up: Seriously these Twitpics, oh man; a high school kid stops Mikko Koivu(notes); Ryan Kesler(notes) gets punked by Andrew Ladd(notes) then cries about it; a hilarious shot at the Oilers; Brett Lebda(notes) is a real American hero; take the Crosby bowling, take him bowling; the unstoppable Mike Cammalleri; Terry Murray gets ahead of himself; the Canucks escalate Hockey Night in Canada feud; and the Sharks commentary team is still the greatest.)

Like this one.

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The caption informs us that the two cuddly creatures in the picture are named "Buzzles" and "Smittens." Of course they are. How could they not be? There's also a Twitvid of some furries, umm, I guess they're dancing? I kid you not.

But the best pic, by far, is the one above that features Ryan Miller(notes), with a wolf in a Sharks jersey and a fox with human hair in a Ducks jersey.

You'd think if you were a Sharks and Ducks fan, you would dress as a shark and a duck, but then I'm not a creepy weirdo in a Disney suit that smells like sweat and is unable to go within 200 feet of an elementary school, so what do I know?

By the way, you'll notice that the Ducks jersey is No. 18. Got me thinking, "Which Duck does this ‘person' like the most?" Turns out, no one on the Ducks wears that number this year, but guess who wore it the three seasons before that?

That's right, Drew Miller(notes). That had to be six individual kinds of hilarious to his brother.

It's important to note that I now officially hate the Sabres for indirectly forcing me to delve deeper into the world of stupid costume enthusiasts than I ever wanted to venture. Which is to say "at all."

Oh and by the way, the Sedins are awesome. You can look forward to finding out why next week.

What We Learned

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Anaheim Ducks: Seven-round shootout in St. Louis Saturday. Guy that got the shootout winner -- James Wisniewski. Wiz is now a career 1-for-1 in shootouts.

Atlanta Thrashers: Slava Kozlov(notes) was a healthy scratch on Saturday. It was the first time he missed a game since 2006-07, a streak of 251 games. Toby Enstrom is now the Thrashers' iron man at 215 games.

Boston Bruins: Things have gone from bad to worse for the Bruins. They had one win in their last eight prior to Sunday. Then they got demolished by the Hurricanes. Dennis Wideman(notes), who has deservedly caught a ton of crap lately, was a minus-4 and on the ice for all five Carolina goals.

Buffalo Sabres: You have no idea how difficult it is to now find news on the Sabres that doesn't pale in comparison, entertainment-wise, with a picture of Ryan Miller and two freaks. So here's a thing about how Mike Grier(notes) was not eager to play his old team.

Calgary Flames: The Flames are eighth in the Western Conference and were, on Friday, actually in ninth. Says George Johnson: "Even casual fans are calling for the lot of them to be shipped off for hard labour at Botany Boy, and we're still two-and-a-half months away from the habitual first-round playoff punt." Ouch.

Carolina Hurricanes: I don't even know what to make of this, but any reaction video to a Hurricanes loss that includes the sentence, "Come on Mario and Luigi, let's beat 'em all up," and "Oh yeah, I'm gonna use the power of my nose," is my favorite video ever.

Chicago Blackhawks: Andrew Ladd sure did pop Ryan Kesler, eh?

Colorado Avalanche: Poor Ryan Stoa(notes). In his first stint with the big club in his first pro year. He has already has his first point. But he can't hang out with his teammates after games because he doesn't have a car in Denver.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Rusty Klesla will return to the ice today for the first time in what seems like forever. He hasn't played since Nov. 30. They expect him to be back before the Olympic break.

Dallas Stars: The sale of the Texas Rangers has finally been announced, and that means Tom Hicks, who also owns the Stars, could have some money with which to fool about, possibly allowing the Stars to increase payroll.

Detroit Red Wings: Brett Lebda is my new favorite Red Wing. He made a bet with Kris Draper(notes) on the World Juniors gold medal game and Lebda backed his home country. End result: Draper donned a USA jersey. Anything to rub it in Canada's smug faces.

Edmonton Oilers: Actual headline: "Oiler fans fill Rexall for Skills Competition." Joke subhead: "Leave disappointed."

Florida Panthers: "We usually don't have many pretty wins, and we're not the most exciting team to watch," Keith Ballard(notes) said after a 2-0 win over Toronto. "This is perfect for us. We don't mind this at all. You want to watch an up-and-down team? Watch Washington. As long as we win, I could care less how we do it."

What a sales pitch! The Florida Panthers: We are in no way entertaining.

Los Angeles Kings: Terry Murray goes a bit overboard in comparing Drew Doughty(notes) to other young players that have made the kind of impact Doughty has. He threw out names like Bourque, Orr, Coffey and Stevens so casually I thought it had to be a joke. For the record, that's not Rene Bourque(notes), Colton Orr(notes), current St. Lawrence University defenseman Sean Coffey or Kevin Stevens he's talking about.

Minnesota Wild: Mikko Koivu had two goals on Saturday and that's all well and good, but how about Hill-Murray goaltender Tim Shaughnessy stopping his patented shootout backhand roofjob? That's awesome.

Montreal Canadiens: Mike Cammalleri has been unstoppable lately. Check out this nice goal on a beautiful no-look feed from Brian Gionta(notes).

Nashville Predators: Finally, someone seems to have won the battle for the No. 1 job in Nashville. Pekka Rinne(notes) is likely going to get run out for a second game in a row on Tuesday night. Wow!

New Jersey Devils: The Devs have had a bit of scoring trouble lately. Prior to Saturday's 4-2 win over the Islanders, they'd scored two or less in seven of their last eight games.

New York Islanders: The Islanders hit three posts in the game and outshot New Jersey 14-1 in the second period, and lost 4-2. Doesn't seem fair to poor Rick DiPietro(notes).

New York Rangers: Finally, someone in New York is making sense. No, the Rangers should not be buyers at the deadline. No one in the organization will listen to this kind of sound logic, but it's sound nonetheless.

Ottawa Senators: Actual lede: "Is Alex Kovalev's(notes) consistency and the Senators' success simply a coincidence?" Six points in his last six games; OK, I guess. Time between goals though: eight games. Time between goals before that: 11 games. Consistency for sure.

Philadelphia Flyers: How utterly shocking for the Flyers to get whistled for reputation calls against the Penguins and then whine about them. "Going back and looking at that game, there are just too many penalties that never happened," said Peter Laviolette, clearly unfamiliar with the way in which these things work.

Phoenix Coyotes: Ilya Bryzgalov(notes) has 27 wins this year. His career high is only 28. This has been a pretty season for him, eh?

Pittsburgh Penguins: The Pens went bowling for a Make-A-Wish fundraiser. Sidney Crosby(notes) only knocked down eight pins with his first throw in the video, and immediately looked around for some refs to whine about the lack of a call.

San Jose Sharks: Further proof Randy Hahn and Drew Remenda are the best broadcast team in professional sports.

St. Louis Blues: Know who's really flourishing under Davis Payne? ... Wait, this says it's Jay McClement(notes). That can't be right.

Tampa Bay Lightning: Hey, anyone wanna buy the Lightning? Well, actually, let me rephrase that. Anyone that didn't invent the BlackBerry wanna buy the Lightning?

Toronto Maple Leafs: To those worrying about how much Jonas Gustavsson(notes) is going to cost the Leafs to re-sign, you can stop. Comparable players all run about $1 million.

Vancouver Canucks: The Canucks refused to appear on Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday after Ron MacLean went after Alex Burrows(notes) the week prior.

Washington Capitals: Alex Semin had four points against the Coyotes on Saturday but is perhaps not happy with the way he's been playing. He told Sovetsky Sport, "You're in a better position to judge how I'm playing. In principle I could even do more. But I'm happy with how everything's going. We have a very good team."

Play of the Weekend

Best save of the weekend wasn't even made by a goalie.

Gold Star Award

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The aforementioned Mr. Cammalleri had four points against the Rangers Saturday and a goal against the Devils the night before. I guess that'll do it.

Minus of the Weekend

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Ryan Kesler sure came off like a punk after that fight with Ladd.

"He's a coward, he'll always be a coward," he said after the game. "At least he was man enough to hit me when I was looking this time."

Know who's a coward? Kesler, for that lame takedown before he even threw a punch. You got beat, Kes. Act like an adult.

Perfect HFBoards trade proposal of the week

User "Its77InMyBlood8" (because Its77InMyBlood, and Its77InMyBlood1 through Its77InMyBlood7 were taken?) has this daring proposal for the Bruins to wrangle a person I believe to be Ilya Kovalchuk(notes).

TO ATL

Wideman

Lucic

Krejci

To Boston

Kovvy

OH wait the Bruins don't have a GM with BALLS enough to make this offer.....he is still evaluating

I think it's more like the Thrashers don't have a GM that's DUMB enough to accept it. Maybe I'm crazy.

Signoff

You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.

Ryan Lambert publishes hockey awesomeness pretty much every day over at The Two-Line Pass. Check it out, why don't you? Or you can e-mail him here and follow him on Twitter if you so desire.

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