Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installment.
Well, this was bound to happen.
Perhaps no other athlete has been defined by a particular food item like Los Angeles Kings forward Dustin Penner has been with pancakes. At least not since David "Morning Kegger" Wells of the N.Y. Yankees.
John Hoven (aka The Mayor) passed this along before Game 3 of the Western Conference final. Foul? Well, yes, but we respect someone for using the official (or close to official) nickname of a player.
But for the record: We're not sure how a couples' jersey in which the other one reads "MRS. BUTTERWORTH" would affect the acceptability of the original jersey.
(Coming Up: God-awful Devils/Rangers FrankenJersey, and another one from Dallas; the Jets celebrate return of hockey and beer; Danny Briere Fouls; and a rather offensive Flames fan.)
And here … we … go.
NO NO NO NO.
From Troy Parla:
At Madison Square Garden... It's a Henrik Lundqvist/Marty Brodeur FrankenJersey... I don't even know what to say about this... No Henrik fan likes Marty and no Marty fan likes Henrik... no Devils fan likes the Rangers and no Rangers fan respect the Devils... these players have no connections with each other outside of position.. I just don't get this one... and it's ugly as sin.
Unless this is some amazing altruistic attempt to bridge the fan bases for the betterment of society … oh, [expletive] it, that's like a raging inferno and a fire extinguisher buying a bed and breakfast together in New Hampshire. This is the Foulest of Fouls.
Continuing down the sewage pipe of inexplicable FrankenJerseys, this terrible sweater arrives via David Strauss who deems it "a waste of an Yzerman jersey."
We'll just go ahead and hypothesize that these are ex-pat Detroiters living in Texas, throwing their allegiance to the local team as they keep ties with their beloved Red Wings. Or they're simply unfazed by the potential federal prosecution that comes with the besmirching of a Steve Yzerman Red Wings sweater.
A hearty "screw you" to all the non-believers that said Winnipeg would never get the NHL again, and a high-five to the fellow Jets fans that kept the fight alive. Alas, somewhere there's a Thrashers jersey with "NOBODY TOLD US 11" in moth balls (or thrown on the ice in Nashville).
Danny Briere Jersey Foul No. 1, via Brian McGurne:
There's a place near my home called Peddler's Village. It's one of those places that have antique shops, candy stores and other tourist traps. They have a small sporting goods store there, too. My guess is that they focus more on the antiques than the numbers that players wear on their jerseys.
As we're sure Peddler's Village would never make this kind of mistake, we can only assume that this is Briere's height in inches.
Danny Briere Jersey Foul No. 2: Taken during the Eastern Conference semifinals in New Jersey, here's a tribute to Briere's incredible postseason. Although is it too much to demand that anyone named "MR PLAYOFFS" at least has as many Stanley Cup rings as Tomas Kaberle?
One more from Philly:
Via reader Mike Katz:
Caught this one at a regular season game in Philadelphia against Montreal. Not sure if this qualifies as a foul. Normally I would say an unrelated fictional character from a non-hockey movie is a foul. However, Philly is defined by Rocky regardless of the context.
What's the ruling?
Foul. And in the words of Apollo Creed, "Ain't gonna be no rematch." Even if there was one in the sequel.
What the what? From Mitch in Edmonton:
Talk about wishful thinking here. I came across this EPIC Jersey Foul after the Shames scored their fifth goal Saturday night. I understand that Hallsy a.k.a Stitches is a Calgary native, but is she 'Joke'inen???
(Ed. Note: Terrible.)
As an Oilers fan, I already have no respect for Flames fans, but to put Hall's name and number on a Flames jersey is completely asinine. May the hockey Gods have mercy on her soul.
It's only fair that an Oilers fan flips the script and takes the name of a hot young Flames prospect for revenge. As soon as the Flames find one. (Apologies to Sven Baertschi).
Via Arnold Klassen comes a Winnipeg Jets jerseys that, while FOUL, is one of our favorites of the 2011-12 season. It's a tribute to both Alexander Burmistrov and alcohol consumption, one of which is easily observed during 41 Winnipeg home games while the other is Alexander Burmistrov.