Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installment.
So this exists.
Sean Tafoya sends in the Gabriel MANdeskog jersey, so named we imagine because Gabriel Landeskog dominates games like a player far beyond his 20 years on this mortal coil.
Or, perhaps, this Colorado Avalanche fan is drawing a contrast between himself and the Avs’ star winger.
Landeskog? He’s a dude that has to wear sleeves. MANdeskog? If you’re lookin’ for the gun show, it’s right here.
(And if you live in Colorado, chances are you’re looking for the gun show.)
So, in summary: Unless you’re Stone Cold Steve Austin or Larry The Cable Guy, leave the damn sleeves on your hockey sweater. Although kudos for keeping it untucked, as per NHL regulations.
And here … we … go.
Via Stafturd, here is a Los Angeles Kings fan either paying homage to the impressive list of Kings who wore 37 – Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Paul DiPietro, Kip Brennan, Dan Currie, Gabe Gauthier, Denis Grebeshkov, Bob Kudelski, Mark Parrish, Jason Podollan and/or Patrice Tardif – or he’s the most obsessive compulsive eater of Mexican appetizers we’ve ever seen.
Interesting Foul from Ravi Sidhu, who spotted this Montreal Canadiens Carey Price sweater transformed into Carey PriDe.
“Best part is that it's a D on red cloth velcroed on the jersey for easy removal when he wants to rock the Price jersey.”
Or, conversely, when he wants to hide the Price jersey after someone loses gold in Sochi.
From Steve McNish:
“I saw this at one of the last games Jarome Iginla played in Calgary. Apparently it’s the ‘god mode’ cheat code in the game DOOM.”
That is going deeeeep down the nerd-gasm rabbit hole right there. We can only assume he didn’t have room on the nameplate for “Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Start.”
Mike sends this one in:
“Bro, I've sent this before, maybe you didn't get it, but after seeing the Rangers ‘Devils Suck’ and ‘Maaaarty’ jerseys, PLEASE show this one! As a fellow Devil fan, I implore you!”
Done and done. It’s clever for sure, and it does make us miss those halcyon days of the “1940!” chant. But still a total, inferiority complex Foul.
Chris McNab sends in these from the Southern FOUL Mecca of Tampa Bay, in which two Lightning fans have inexplicably Frankenjersey’d their Vincent Lecavalier sweaters with that of Mikko Koivu of the Minnesota Wild, because … who the hell cares?
It’s a bit of a douche move from the dude to wear the jersey that at least makes some phonetic sense, while his lady is forced to wear a nameplate that looks a junior Jumble word scramble. Or a French baby trying to say “Peek-a-boo.”
Dr. Ronald Weihs saw this sweater at a Winnipeg Jets game:
“White tape over ‘Burmistrov’ and Tro left , then sharpie ‘uba’ for Trouba. To top it off, the jersey is a cheap Chinese counterfeit (can tell by # 8. It has no light blue cut out).”
Origin of purchase aside, this can be viewed as a Protest Jersey which falls under the Not-A-Foul category. Such as …
… this one spotted by Jimmy Nguyen at a San Jose Sharks game, in the Mecca of Fouls in the West. Very nice Dany Heatley to Tomas Hertl transition.
From reader Brett:
“I saw this guy a couple years ago at a Minnesota Wild game. ‘Beevahlikka 69’. Shockingly he was just as obnoxious and douchey as you can imagine.”
This road, we’re not going down.
And finally …
Erin Stinson brings us this Matt Cooke tribute from a Minnesota Wild fan, unless of course she’s suggesting he should be sent down to Canadian Interuniversity Sport.
That’s a fun little spelling lesson there. What else does ‘C’ stand for, Marc Savard?
(Yeah, we know: Reformed player, ancient history, yadda yadda…)