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Jersey Fouls: Internet porn rules, Coyotes animal fouls and profane Justin Faulk tribute

Greg Wyshynski
Puck Daddy

Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in future installment.

Uh … wut?

Reader Emily B. captured these Fouls at Game 5 of the Phoenix Coyotes' first-round series against the Chicago Blackhawks. Little did she know she'd be on the National Geographic beat that night.

Say hello to Horny Rabbit and Angry Squirrel.

So what are we looking at here? Inside references? Pet names?

Let's assume it's player related, based on the numbers. Has Daniel Winnik (the most recent, and prominent, No. 34 for the Coyotes) ever gone by the "Horny Rabbit" moniker?

Are Keith Ballard and/or David Rundblad known by their spirit animals, the Angry Squirrel?

As we often do, we're asking for insight and clarity on this one. If you are either the Horny Rabbit or the Angry Squirrel, or know what any of this means, hit us as puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com. Our sanity depends on it.

Coming up ... well, an incredible collection of Fouls.

And here … we … go.

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Christopher Rutledge is bringing J-Fouls to new highs.

This jersey was from a Portland Winterhawks game, and the good news is that it's now legal to wear this in neighboring Washington.

This isn't the first Foul to honor the legacy of Grandpa's Magic Eye Medicine, obviously; but it might be the first one in which the fan is also wearing the tail of a small mammal. Or is being violated by a puma. One of the two.

From reader Mike, a Philadelphia Flyers Foul.

Thank the gods he slapped that W CLASSIC and '12' on the back of the sweater, or else we'd have to rely on the giant [expletive] patch on his shoulder and our own unfailing memory to recall that the Flyers wore these in the Winter Classic.

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Reader David Poulter sends in this Foul, and writes:

Here's a custom jersey an old school friend of mine had made. I lean towards it being a foul and he's proud of that. So far as I know Rule 34 doesn't apply to jersey fouls yet.

Now, we're as Internet savvy as the next guy in his parents' basement, but 'Rule 34' was a little lost on us. That is, until we Knew Our Meme and OMG is that brilliant: "Rule 34 is an Internet adage in the 'Rules of the Internet' list of protocols and conventions which asserts that if something exists, there is porn of it."

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Many of you have sent in tips on the Shop NHL ads which feature a plethora of J-Fouls, like this one from earlier in the year. Reader 'NYR M.' was a little perturbed by something he saw in the commercial:

From 'NYR M.':

Every time it's aired this season, the NHL jersey foul commercial has bothered me for so many reasons. It's a testament to the many ways in which league office can display bad taste. The one that bothers me most as a Rangers fan is that Derek Boogaard wore '94' during his brief time with my team.

Yes, he only played 22 games for the Blueshirts, so, yes, at heart he was more affiliated with the Wild, even at the time of his death. And, yes, I'm sure that lame commercial was filmed in February or March, well before Boogaard passed away. Still, if the NHL insists on shilling vanity jerseys despite the fact that they're a game-demeaning product, couldn't they have waited to use the number 94 on a Rangers jersey until AFTER the team stopped wearing it on their helmets to honor their dead teammate?

It's a fair point. Obviously, the jersey's a tribute to Messier's vow in 1994, the year he became The Greatest Captain In The History of Hockey And/Or Captains. But with Boogaard still in the thoughts of Rangers fans, it might have been jarring to see his number at the start of an advertisement for vanity jerseys.

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We try to keep the '69' sweaters on Jersey Fouls to a minimum because (a) there are too many of them and (b) they usually cross the line and (c) despite what "GOON" taught us, they're not hilarious.

That said, the above was sent in by Zach G.

I figured you may like this god awful jersey I snapped a pic of at the Jets game for your Jersey Fouls. It is extremely douchey.

And quite boastful! Does he know Horny Rabbit?

Meanwhile, in Florida …

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As you know, the Tampa Bay Lightning hand out Jersey Fouls to season ticket holders. Reader Scott Sages explains:

This has resulted in some pretty bad jersey fouls (Gretzky 99 and Orr 4). I saw this foul last night leaving the Lightning-Devils game, this has to be the worst foul I've seen this season...

Yet you have to respect a man that loves 'MUF' so much that he'll digitally record it.

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Jessica W. writes in:

"I saw this at the Abbotsford Heat/OCK Barons game. I think he was going for 'Flames Suck.'"

Instead, it's "Flamesuck," which is grammatically incorrect.

Unless, of course, he's simply trying to express that only one of the Flames sucks, in which case we'll just assume this is a Matt Stajan Tribute Sweater.

And finally …

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Reader Joy writes on this Carolina Hurricanes Foul:

"As Justin Faulk gets better I'm afraid we'll see more and more of these."

Oh, that's not a reason to be afraid. The hundreds of "Faulk This" sweaters, on the other hand …

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