Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at email@example.com for inclusion in future installments.
With that, the Canadianization of Pavel Bure was complete.
Matt Plotkin sends in his Vancouver Canucks Foul capture in Dallas, at an unexpected location:
A mid 90's (I believe) Canucks jersey with "Beer Eh?" where the name should be. This comes from Dallas, TX. Not from the AA Center, mind you, but rather the midnight opening of 'Tron: Legacy' at a local movie theater. Enjoy!
And here we thought most of the people who went to a midnight showing of "TRON: Legacy" wore faded, ill-fitting video game shirts from the 1980s. (And yes, we're still trying to figure out how to get the butter stains out of that Galaga tee ...)Meanwhile, and to the surprise of no one that witnessed that creepy 'Getting' Jiggy With Iggy' sweater, there's another wordy and weird Jersey Foul from the Calgary Flames. Reader Steve explains:
Budget restrictions for one jersey instead of two? Possibly.
Chance that both these players will not be wearing the Flaming C within the next few seasons rendering this jersey as just a "It seemed like a good idea at the time"? Definitely!
Recently on Twitter, we had a prolonged debate about whether a fan can actually have "two favorite teams," with compelling arguments for and against that notion.
Let it be said that a fan can also have two favorite players ... but for the love of the Hockey Gods, not on the same sweater.These are the people who hold up the drive-thru line because "I don't know, it all looks so good"!
We'd also like to point out that these numbers add up to 46, which was Martin St. Louis'(notes) number when he started with the Flames ... and that's probably not the tribute they were going for here.
(Coming Up: A few R-rated sweater; Sidney Crosby(notes) joins the Ducks; Flames get the yips; Howie Morenz Foul; more Washington Capitals hilarity; and does a St. Louis Blues sweater improve when melded with a pink monstrosity?)
And here ... we ... go.
From Jeff M.:
Hey. So I was out at a bar after a game with my girlfriend (right) when I came across this horrendous jersey. I hate the Pink jerseys anyway, but to take one and make this abomination is horrible. Why not just get a real jersey?
We checked the Blues store and didn't see this Frankenjersey listed, so it may be an original work. Guess the real question is: Did this improve a pink jersey or degrade a Blues jersey?
Another one from Calgary, via Ted and Sylvia:
My girlfriend and I were at the Flames home opener and we spotted this affront to Calgary's best goalie. I'm guessing his last name is Yip and that he was born in 1988? Or is he an Eric Lindros fan?
A couple of Sidney Crosby-related Fouls. First up is SENSaholic:
1.) Your own name on a jersey is a foul on its own, let alone it costs an extra $90 to do it.
2.) Even though you may be born in 1987, you still don't put that # on the back of a jersey
3.) The ONLY jersey that should have #87 on it should be Pitts and have Crosby on the back
Dhaliwal goes beyond just being "your own name on the jersey," given its history. But the real question is this: Does Crosby own '87' in the same way Mario owned '66'? Can it be assumed that any '87' is in reference to Sid?
Another Crosby Foul, from Nolan:
Recently went to SoCal from the Bay Area to watch the Pens play against the Ducks. Came across this guy that had taped up Crosby and his #87 on an old school Mighty Ducks of Anaheim jersey! I'm sure this qualifies as a jersey foul, right?
Why yes. Yes, it certainly does.
What was it? Peer pressure? C'mon, if the Mighy Ducks taught us anything, it's that it's OK to be yourself! And that even when the sky is black, ducks fly together.
What would Jersey Fouls be without a few from the Capital of Fouls?
These Washington Capitals were captured by Larry (the Ted Leonsis "$$" jersey, spotted by more than a few fans); 'Flying Blind', who caught yet another example of unfortunate obsession in the Caps/Pittsburgh Penguins rivalry; and Kristin, who snapped this creepy David Steckel "Be Mine" jersey.
Via Dave from Philly:
"I finally got a shot of this guy standing up during one of the many goals that night. Please note the silver mullet during your consideration of this foul..."
You kidding us? The silver mullet nearly pushed this thing into "PASS" territory.
Here is a jersey that I caught before going into the Avs/Kings preseason game at MGM this season. A Jack Johnson jersey with the "JMFJ" nameplate. Jack Mother F--king Johnson, that guy was nice enough to share with me. Note: It also appears to be autographed, and the guy claimed he had anther jersey that had it "spelled out" but his buddy wouldn't let him wear it that night.
Here's a little link to a Michigan blog going into more detail on JMFJ. (R-Rated language warning)
An important Foul submitted by Alex, via the Montreal Canadiens:
The first is a Howie Morenz sweater. Which is the ultimate foul. For one, he never wore the sweater. Two, he definitely never had his name on his sweater. Three, if you really want a Morenz sweater, at least do it without the name. Four, wearing a sweater of a guy who played long before 95%+ current fans were born, is just plain stupid. You never saw this guy play, therefore it is a stupid sweater to have.
The aesthetic arguments are well-founded, but c'mon: Can't we give props to a youngin' for learning a thing or two about Howie Morenz instead of rocking some Pacioretty flavor of the month sweater?
Holy smokes, we hope that wasn't a per-letter rate. From Nels G.:
This one is a little over the top. I caught it after the Wild game. I'm guessing it is from the inaugural season in 2000, hence the number 00, but the name...seriously? It is "Whassupwitchewski", a play on "What's up with you...ski?" Not sure what to make of that one.
Kindling. You should make kindling.
Finally, things get a little lewd ...
Al Gatz offers this St. Louis Blues sweater that has two more letters beyond "Full Ash." Can you guess which two?
And finally ...
Jeff K. sends over this epic Detroit Red Wings jersey that puts the 'F' in 'Foul':
I took this picture at Joe Louis last year during the playoffs against San Jose. This guy was wasted and told us how many times he's been punched for this jersey! He said he gets a mixed review on it.
The No. 37s in Red Wings history: Kris King, John Mokosak, Chris Luongo, Vincent Riendeau, Tim Taylor, Kevin Hodson, Marc Rodgers, Mikael Samuelsson(notes), Doug Janik(notes). In case this is the wackiest Tribute Jersey we've ever seen ...
- Howie Morenz