The Gary Bettman Bruins/Blackhawks Playoff Beard Gallery

Greg Wyshynski
June 12, 2013

Gary Bettman as Jaromir Jagr. Or in the middle of his bear phase.

It’s the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which means only one thing: Gary Bettman’s probably getting booed at some point.

Or jeered. Or hissed. Or receiving general disdain from the assembled masses as he attempts to hand out the Stanley Cup to this year’s champion. It happens. It’s tradition.

This naturally got us thinking about what we could do to make life easier for the commissioner, who has enough on his plate already without having to worry about constant booing. (What with every city in North America getting an outdoor game and every person in every city in North America being asked if they want to buy the Coyotes.)

We’ve tried to help change his image before through our landmark “Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism” Photoshop contest. It was great and all, but we weren’t sure if Gary Bettman As Hellboy was going to make a difference in the postseason.

What earns a player playoff love? Facial hair, of course.

With that, the pathetic ‘Shop skills of Harrison Mooney, Y! blogs overlord Kevin Kaduk and your humble editor attempted to transform Gary Bettman into a Stanley Cup Playoff bad ass. Or as bad-ass as one can look while wearing Patrick Kane’s mullet.

Here is the Gary Bettman Bruins/Blackhawks Playoff Beard Gallery …

And here … we … go.

Bettman as Patrick Kane.

Bettman as Nathan Horton.

Bettman as Zdeno Chara, circa 2011.

Bettman as Chara, circa 2013.

Bettman as Brandon Saad.

Bettman as Wade Redden. Or is it Garrett Bettman, his evil twin?!?!

Bettman as Joel Quenneville.

Bettman as Shawn Thornton. Or he fell asleep on a McDonald's hash brown.

Bettman as Johnny Oduya.

Bettman as Jonathan Toews.

Bettman as Jonathan Toews, speaking with Lisa Leslie. (Mind = blown)

Bettman as Patrick Sharp (DREAMY).

Bettman as Rene Rancourt. Or perhaps J. Jonah Jamison. GET HIM PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!

And finally:

Bettman as Bryan Bickell, a.k.a. nightmare fuel.

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Jaromir Jagr's fingerprints all over Stanley Cup Final