Great news for the Boston Bruins this week: Nathan Horton, who hasn't played since being (mildly) concussed by Philadelphia Flyers forward Tom Sestito on Jan. 22, resumed skating on Sunday and is progressing back to the lineup.
How exciting, given that Nathan Horton is a vital part of a team that's hit some mid-season turbulence! Coach Claude Julien, can you tell us how Horton is progressing on this lovely Tuesday?
"Guys, I'm done talking about it," Julien said.
Oh, so … wait, what?
"I look at every team that has guys with concussions, and guys, you've got to give him a chance to let him go through the things. I can't give you an update every day on this guy because it could be long, it could be short.
Er, uh … but the Penguins give updates every day on Sidney. And he's been concussed since, like, "The Green Hornet" was in theaters.
"When you see him on the ice with us, it's going to be a really good sign, so we'll leave it at that.
Sure will be! But seriously, how is Nathan Horton?
"I don't have the answer, so I'm not going to give you an answer."
No, seriously: How's his concussion?
"We don't know what concussions are all about."
Is this because the doctor you had on staff retired?
Unrelated: How does one do the cha-cha?
"There's forward steps, there's backwards steps. I can't just come out here every day and give you guys an update, because it doesn't make sense."
Understandable. You got that, Boston media? No more questions about an essential first-line player's recovery from another concussion within an eight-month span. Claude's not spillin'. Go cover Gronk dancing the pain away or something.