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Columbus will transform Jeff Carter jerseys into Jack Johnson ones for free

Harrison Mooney
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Let's be honest: Jeff Carter's eight months as a member of the Columbus Blue Jackets were disastrous. Rather than unite with Rick Nash, giving the team's star power winger a big, formidable running mate, Carter sulked until he was released, like a cat on a leash.

While Carter eventually yielded a top-pairing defender in Jack Johnson, Ohio hockey fans can be forgiven for wishing to erase his brief stay from memory entirely. This is an action that the Blue Jackets' organization is more than happy to support, judging from the promotion they'll be running Thursday night:

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They'll also help you burn your ex-boyfriend's black t-shirt

In addition to turning your spirit of heaviness into the garment of praise, the Blue Jackets will turn your ashes and mourning into beauty and oil of joy.

It makes sense. Carter looked to be a Blue Jacket for the next decade -- there were probably many fans that sunk good money into his jersey thinking it could be forever, only to see it become the wedding band from a failed marriage in less than a year. This is some serious hockey therapy.

As a convenient aside, Carter returns to Columbus tonight with the Los Angeles Kings for the first time.

So tear off the duct tape, disgruntled Columbus hockey fan. The Blue Jackets will gladly upgrade your DIY alterations to the real thing, because they're just as eager to mindwipe the Jeff Carter era as you are.

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