"Card Bored" is a regular feature that chronicles Sean Leahy's adventures in the nostalgic joys and unintentional hilarity of the hockey card industry. Have a funny hockey card story? Then send it our way firstname.lastname@example.org.
Every Christmas since I was a young lad, it seems as if I've received at least one hockey-related gift; whether it was the Pittsburgh Penguins' greatest games DVD last year or my very own wooden blade hockey stick (a Titan), someone in my family knew a hockey gift would be better than new pants for school or one of those horrible looking sweaters that everyone seems to have a story about.
Today's edition of Cared Bored has a holiday-theme to it. So spike the eggnog and come along for the ride.
For example: While Santa seems to be quite the attention whore around this time of year, the always hilarious High on Hockey found this 1991-92 Parkhurst card (above) of jolly ole St. Nick and couldn't help but wonder why the back of the card was quite the Debbie Downer.
In this holiday knickknack, I can't decide whether or not Santa is trying to hand this young boy a hockey stick, recreate the famous photo of Gordie Howe with a young Wayne Gretzky or bring out his inner Chris Simon. Of course, since they're both wearing Penguins paraphernalia, the NHL would see no wrong-doing and move along to promoting all-star game voting totals.
Finally, these were a running feature on Late Night with Conan O'Brien some years ago. "Jesus Playing Sports" statues were not only ridiculously funny but also, sometimes, very, very creepy. In this hockey edition, we sell Jesus overpowering the two youngsters and their sticks while battling for the puck.
I'm also convinced that he's about to slew-foot No. 3 on the left.
- hockey stick