Many summers ago, I visited one of those Florida retirement communities that feature dozens of mobile homes lining the perimeter of a golf course. The geezerly denizens would travel around the neighborhood via personalized golf carts, and some of them were seriously pimped-out rides; included a bitchin' one painted in Green Bay Packers colors with a "cheese head" for a roof.
This Detroit Red Wings golf cart ups the ante. It's custom made, with "wrap around graphics, chrome wheels, and cargo box" that says "Hockeytown" on it. It also has authentic autographs from nearly two dozen members of the 2007-08 Stanley Cup champion Red Wings, including Pavel Datsyuk, Johan Franzen and Chris Osgood. Also, Chris Chelios ... bringing us full circle to the retirement community anecdote from the opening.
Time is running out on this eBay auction, with the bids all the way up to $1,525. The catch: You have to be able to pick it up in Kalkaska, MI. And then drive it home very, very slowly on the shoulder of the interstate.
Would a Red Wings fan really want this thing? The notion of a reigning postseason champion autographing anything related to golf strikes us as bad karma, akin to a non-champion embracing the Stanley Cup. Hitting the links is for runners-up; Cup champions are too busy partying with friends like Kid Rock and having their kids use Stanley as a toilet.
But there's an even bigger affront to the Hockey Gods at work here: The auction page reports that included in the "authentic autograph signatures from the 2008 Stanley Cup Champions" is one from Marian Hossa. Bad form, gold cart. Bad form.
Still, it's a good-looking cart that'll get your grandpa from the heated pool to the bingo parlor. God forbid the local Rue McClanahan at Shady Acres is a Blackhawks fan, though; he can forget about those afternoon delights.