Getty ImagesThis is what the Boston Bruins do.

They frustrate you, and pester you, and take away your weapons while theirs fire at will.

This is what the Pittsburgh Penguins have become.

Flustered, insecure, ineffective and oblivious. Their Game 1 loss teetered on the brink of an unraveling, much like they had in their playoff defeat to the Philadelphia Flyers in 2012. Their Game 2 loss was something much more unsettling: a humiliating 6-1 defeat on home ice in which the Penguins’ levels of apathy alarmingly surged.

The Penguins’ shoulders slumped after the Bruins scored the first goal in Game 1, 8:23 into the first period. They were down just 28 seconds into Game 2 on a Brad Marchand goal.

When Dan Bylsma says, “I think the first team to score a goal is going to win this hockey game tonight," ... well, how does one expect the Penguins to react?

Getty ImagesPittsburgh Penguins Coach Dan Bylsma gave Tomas Vokoun the start in Game 2 against the Boston Bruins after contemplating a switch back to Marc-Andre Fleury.

But just 16:31 into the first period, the switch was made.

Vokoun was pulled after giving up three goals on 12 shots, as Fleury re-entered the players for the first time since May 7.

The Bruins led the Penguins 4-1 after a wild first period on Monday night, holding a 1-0 lead in the Eastern Conference Final.

It all started with this Brad Marchand goal just 28 seconds into the game, after a Sidney Crosby turnover:

The onslaught continued with a Nathan Horton goal at 14:37, followed by David Krejci’s eighth of the playoffs just 1:54 later.

That was the end for Vokoun.

Listen to any Boston sports talk segment on the Bruins, and you’re going to hear someone lamenting the lack of production from Tyler Seguin. This is true when Seguin is leading the team in scoring, and this is true when Seguin’s having a pitiful offensive postseason.

Like this postseason, for example. Seguin has one goal and three assists in 13 playoff games, skating to a minus-2.

The goal and two of those helpers came in Games 4 and 5 of the New York Rangers series, leading to some hope he was turning the corner.

DJ Bean of WEEI offers some diagnosis:

The issues with Seguin’s game at this point don’t seem to be anything necessarily new. He can be a bit hesitant if there’s a possibility of contact, but he was the same way when he was lighting it up last year. He’s throwing a lot of pucks on net, which is good, although he had none in the Bruins’ Game 1 win over the Penguins.

So it hasn’t been a strong offensive postseason for Seguin. Which might be OK.

Seguin’s turned into a supremely talented role player for the Boston Bruins as his goal-scoring sputters. He’s skating with Rich Peverley and Chris Kelly on the team’s third line.

Via ESPN Boston, trying to rationalize Seguin’s role vs. his lack of scoring:

“I thought our third line played by far their best game of the [playoffs],” Julien said of Game 1. “So hopefully they can muster some goals here because that would certainly help.”

“I’m competing well and working hard out there,” Seguin said. “I’m playing my role on the team. I’m here to win games, not to want to score every single shift. It’s frustrating at times, but we’re winning games and that definitely makes you happy and it’s fun right now.”

The difference between “hey, at least he’s playing his role well” and “why the hell isn’t Tyler Seguin doing better than one goal in 13 games?!” is wins and losses. If the Bruins keep rolling, perhaps the “winning games and not scoring every shift” mantra works. But the minute the tide turns … well, it’s not David Krejci who'll be blamed for the offense sputtering.

Getty ImagesThe New York Rangers are in the market for a head coach, and fans have been speculating it could be anyone from Lindy Ruff to Mark Messier to other dark horse candidates.

NBC Sports analyst Mike Milbury isn’t one of those candidates.

At least we don’t think so, unless Glen Sather is off his meds.

He coached the Boston Bruins and New York Islanders for parts of six seasons during the 1990s, compiling a record of 146-160-45 and making the playoffs in both his Bostonian seasons. When you haven’t coached in two lockouts-time, one assumes you won’t be a front-burner candidate in 2013.

Which is why Lighthouse Hockey, an Islanders blog, decided to have a little fun with the idea that the man who ruined their franchise the former Islanders GM/coach had been hired by the Rangers. From LH, an SB Nation blog:

But both Sather and Milbury are betting on the latter's long stay in the NHL as being the missing ingredient for getting New York over the hump.

"Mike and I have known each other for a long, long time," Sather said after giving a vintage Rangers warm-up jacket to his new coach. "That's not to say we've always seen eye-to-eye. But he and I are from the old school, so to speak, and we know what kind of team we want. One that's solid defensively, has depth on offense and never backs down from physical play. That's why I made the call and brought him on board."

"If hard work, commitment and loyalty mean old-fashioned, then yes I am," said Milbury.

The piece wasn’t outwardly satirical, but c’mon: Rangers warm-up jacket? Like this one from his Islanders days, perhaps?

So no, Mike Milbury wasn’t hired as Rangers head coach, leaving him to continue his enlightening constructive criticism on NBC Sports Network.

But that didn’t stop Rangers fans and other hockey nuts on social media from totally freaking the [expletive] out …

Getty ImagesTim Robbins is a noted director, screenwriter and Academy Award winning actor. (Plus, he was in Howard the Duck.) He's also a big hockey fan and is frequently seen in the crowd during New York Rangers games at Madison Square Garden.

Despite a busy life, Robbins has also found time to participate in a weekend roller hockey game in Greenwich Village in New York City. For over 20 years, adults from all walks of life met at William F. Passannante Ballfield to play.

But last weekend featured their final games, because their permit application renewal was rejected by the New York City Parks Department after complaints from park-goers that their safety was in danger from flying pucks.

From the New York Post:

“I think it’s terrible,” said Academy Award-winning actor Tim Robbins, an occasional player, before the final game at the park last Saturday. “It is a cross-section of New Yorkers. There are doctors, musicians. It’s a pretty special group of people, and this is kind of what New York is all about: sharing space.”

Here's Robbins in action in 2011:

The NYC Parks Department is trying to find the players an actual inline rink to play in, but there's a tradition to what's been going on on their makeshift rink for the past 20 years. The players say they're willing to move, but wish there could be some sort of an agreement to remain at Passannante Ballfield. According to the Post, a Harlem ice hockey league is the beneficiary of many fundraising games from the group.

Robbins and his buddies should just take a page out of William Devane's book and march to the Parks Department offices and start chanting, "Let them play!"

Hey, it worked for the Bad News Bears.

Follow Sean Leahy on Twitter at @Sean_Leahy

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

Reddit

• Via Reddit user "vucc", a deleted scene from Game 1.

• Part of the Penguins' plan to get even with the Bruins is by doing a better job in the face-off circle. [Tribune Review]

• Why the Bruins' physical play wasn't the sole reason they took Game 1 from the Penguins. [The Hockey Writers]

• Claude Julien on the Matt Cooke hit on Adam McQuaid: "And I've said it before, and I'm certainly not going to change my mind because it happened to one of our players, but I've always said that we have to educate our players to not put themselves in vulnerable positions," Julien said. "And I'm not talking necessarily about last night, I'm talking about those kind of things that are happening and right now. Because the rule says you can't hit somebody from behind. Sometimes we take advantage of that rule, and it's dangerous." [Boston Globe]

• The Chicago Blackhawks announced they've signed goaltender Antti Raanta, who was the Finnish league MVP this past season. [Blackhawks]

• Heading back home, where they're 7-0, should be a confidence booster for the LA Kings as they face a 2-0 deficit to the Blackhawks. [LA Times]

• No, there is no CHL goaltending crisis, says Cam Charron. [Buzzing the Net]

LISTEN HERE!

It's a Monday edition of Marek vs. Wyshynski beginning at 2 p.m. ET/11 a.m. PT, and we're talking about the following and more:

Special Guest Star: The Great Jack Edwards of NESN joins us to talk Boston Bruins vs. Pittsburgh Penguins.

• Gretzky, Messier, Vingeault and the coaching questions in the NHL.

• Jonathan Quick gets chased.

• The visor debate reaches the end-game.

• Previewing Penguins/Bruins Game 2.

Question of the Day: Who's been the best player so far in the Conference finals?
Email puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or hit us on Twitter with the hashtag #MvsW to @wyshynski or @jeffmarek.

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"Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis is inescapably catchy and an open invitation for parodies. A witty gentleman named Evan Walsh decided to bring some mad flow to the track about Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins, in support of the Boston Bruins in the 2013 NHL Eastern Conference Final.

Guess what? It’s No. 1 on iTunes! No, just kidding, it’s effing terrible. (NSFW WARNING: A few salty adult words.)

A few random thoughts …

• Every time a Bruins fans says he’d pay to see Sidney Crosby’s jaw shattered by another puck, a torch lit for Matt Cooke goes out.

• “Chara's a big ass Ruski." Sorry, Slovakia, but all know he’s got crazy vowels and is totally Russian looking. Oh, wait, look, a rebuttal:

• Jarome Iginla does not smell like rotten milk. He smells of tooth whitener, Albertan beef and regret. We all know this.

• Despite our cynicism about Evan Walsh's status as a lyricist, “He might be 60 but hey he's still got it/Used to have a mullet and damn he used to rock it” is the greatest Jimmy Buffett lyric never written.

• All that said, it’s good to see Dave Attell show off his hip-hop skills, even while wearing a miner’s lamp and a bathrobe.