Hello, this is a feature that will run through the entire season and aims to recap the weekend’s events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact or stupid opinion about each team. Feel free to complain about it.

Over the summer, most teams in the Northeast Division took part in the very odd trend of trying to muscle up as a means of competing with the Boston Bruins.

The Sabres signed slugger-not-a-skater John Scott and traded big ol' softie Derek Roy for rough and ready Steve Ott. Montreal backed a dump truck full of money and years into Brandon Prust's driveway for somewhat mystifying reasons. The Maple Leafs added borderline guys with lots of penalty minutes like Mark Fraser and Frazer McLaren (though the latter was claimed on waivers a few weeks ago). The Senators didn't do any of that, and good for them.

But isn't it funny that the most embarrassing period of any game this season came as a direct result of trying to keep up with Boston's toughness, but did not in any way involve the Bruins? It came, instead, in a game involving Montreal, which is odd considering that apart from Prust, the number of Canadiens you'd expect to get involved in any sort of rough stuff can more or less be counted on zero fingers.

But on a team of roughnecks built — not altogether successfully — with "truculence" and "being tough to play against" in mind, who would have thought that Nazem Kadri, of all people, would be the one that ended up sparking the whole mess? It was Kadri who railroaded Alexei Emelin with a good, hard, clean hit as the Habs defenseman, who was wearing a full cage after being hit in the face with a puck last month, tried to clear the zone.

As the puck went down the ice, and created a scoring opportunity for the Habs, Dion Phaneuf came back and committed a penalty, which would have given Montreal a power play.

Instead, Prust, in an attempt to get back at the team whose player had just crushed his teammate, threw a gloved punch and negated the opportunity before it even started. Things devolved from there, in no way helped by the fact that Toronto was also creaming Montreal on their home ice. As the lead grew from 3 goals to 4 to 5 to 6, it got uglier and uglier, and the final 20 minutes in particular stood as being particularly pathetic and unflattering for all involved.

Getty ImagesThe 2014 Sochi Olympic Games are a little under a year away and on Sunday the men's hockey qualification finally came to an end.

Already qualified were USA, Canada, Russia, Sweden, Finland, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Switzerland, and Norway. September and November featured two separate pre-qualifying tournaments that led to the final set of games this past week that determined the last three spots in the Sochi tournament.

In the end it would be good news for the likes of Thomas Vanek, Michael Grabner and Anze Kopitar, among others, as Austria, Latvia and Slovenia would qualify.

The Austrians only needed a single point from their game against Germany and got it in a 3-2 overtime loss. Germany will miss out on the Olympic hockey tournament for the first time since 1952. Austria returns for the first time since Salt Lake in 2002.

Latvia (Hail Arturs Irbe!) also lost 3-2 in overtime, but the point was enough for them to qualify for their fourth straight Games. The team is coached by former Jack Adams Award winner Ted Nolan and features former NHLer Sandis Ozolinsh on defense. Here's what the celebrations were like in Riga:

Slovenia won their opening two games against Belarus and Denmark and that was enough for them to qualify for the first time. Anze Kopitar's brother played in the qualifying tournament and the team is coached by their father. Upon learning of the good news, Kopitar was ecstatic, even though he didn't watch, according to LA Kings Insider Jon Rosen:

“There was a live stream. I just didn’t want to watch it, because usually if I watch it, I’m too nervous, or something not good is happening. I just stayed away from it and then told my mom – she was watching it – and I told her, ‘when it’s all said and done, just shoot me a text, either ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.’ That was pretty much it.”

Now that all 12 teams are officially in place for the Sochi tournament, the groups are now set. From the IIHF:

Group A: Russia, Slovakia, USA, Slovenia
Group B: Finland, Canada, Norway, Austria
Group C: Czech Republic, Sweden, Switzerland, Latvia

The full set of games is scheduled, for now, to be released sometime in May.

The NHL, NHLPA, IIHF and IOC have yet to hammer out a deal for the league to send its players to Sochi, but things are leaning that way. The sides will meet later this week in hopes of getting closer to a resolution.

Follow Sean Leahy on Twitter at @Sean_Leahy

Getty ImagesNo. 1 Star: Jimmy Howard, Detroit Red Wings

A wild final minute saw the Red Wings lose their lead and then take it back for good during a 3-2 win over the Los Angeles Kings. Alec Martinez pounced on a rebound in front to tie the game with 53 seconds to go, then Jonathan Ericsson's shot squeaked through Jonathan Quick's pads with five seconds remaining to give the Red Wings the win. Howard was stellar making 45 saves, including 23 in the second period for his sixth win. One of his 45 saves included this pad stop on Dustin Brown late in the first:

No. 2 Star: David Clarkson, New Jersey Devils

Clarkson kept up his scoring pace by netting two to give him five in five games as the Devils swept a weekend home-and-home series versus the Pittsburgh Penguins with a 3-1 win. He now has nine goals this season. Johan Hedberg made 23 saves as the Devils won their fifth in a row.

No. 3 Star: Carl Hagelin, New York Rangers

Hagelin needed just 31 seconds to open the scoring and added his second of the night midway through the second period as the Rangers routed the Tampa Bay Lightning 5-1. He'd add an assist late in the third on Rick Nash's third of the season for a three-point night. Henrik Lundqvist made 19 saves.

Vanek (Getty)

Thomas Vanek scored his 11th on the year yesterday, his 11th in 11 games as the Sabres beat the New York Islanders. Even as Buffalo now sit at 5-6-1 and last place in the Northeast Division, the Austrian has been the league's most productive player this season.

He's leading the league in scoring with 11 goals and 23 points, topping both categories with breathing room in both. He's also been on the ice for 27 goals for his club, and 20 of those at even strength. Both of those marks top the league as well, as Vanek has played heavy minutes on a less-than-impressive Buffalo roster, carrying a first line with him, Cody Hodgson and Jason Pominville to some early season individual success.

As noted, though, the Sabres are two games below .500, (5-6-1 really means 5-7, no matter what Gary Bettman tries to tell me) and have been getting poor play from the rest of their lineup. While the team's top line has 22 goals already on the season, the remaining Sabres' combined have eight. Despite Steve Ott and John Scott being as tough as they were advertised in the offseason, the Sabres just can't buy a break: Ryan Miller is 20th in the early going among NHL starters in even strength save percentage at .911, well below his own individual career norms.

On Friday night, the East Coast Musicians hockey team was set to face off with the Canso Academy (Nova Scotia) students and staff for a fundraiser game to benefit the school.

During the event, there were three opportunities to hit a shot from just beyond center ice to win $5,000. One chance was taken by 9-year old Tyson Greencorn, who plays for Canso's atom squad.

Tyson's shot started off not the way he wanted, by slipping just as he released the puck, but the ending was perfect:

Did the little slip actually help him? We may never know. But he's now a local legend in Canso, and also a tad bit richer.

So what's a 9-year old boy to do with $5,000?

Follow Sean Leahy on Twitter at @Sean_Leahy

It was that kind of night for the Florida Panthers.

No. 1 Star: Bobby Ryan, Anaheim Ducks

In an unexpectedly high-scoring night between the Ducks and the St. Louis Blues (who might prefer to see the Brian Elliott of last season instead of the season before), Bobby Ryan led the way, scoring 2 goals and adding 2 assists in a 6-5 shootout win. I love his roof job on this goal:

Teemu Selanne also had a 4-point night with 1 and 3. He now has two 4-point nights this season. I remind you, he's 42.

No. 2 Star: Mike Smith, Phoenix Coyotes

Smith was excellent, single-handedly dragging the Coyotes to two points in San Jose. He didn't get any run support, as Antti Niemi posted a shutout at the other end, but Smith's 33-save shutout carried over into the shootout, where no Sharks scored, but Mikkel Boedker and Radim Vrbata did, for a 1-0 victory.

Absolutely nothing went the Montreal Canadiens' way Saturday night versus the Toronto Maple Leafs. They put 37 shots on James Reimer. None went in. They surrendered 6 goals, the first time in 12 years they've lost by such a margin to Toronto, and among those goals were tallies by the snakebitten Dion Phaneuf, the previously goalless Leo Komarov, and Korbinian Holzer, with an assist from Colton Orr.

Yes, the Leafs' fourth line got a goal. Rarely do they factor much into hockey games (despite Don Cherry's bizarre assertion that Orr and McClaren were responsible for the Leafs' turnaround of late), but they were a big part of this one, especially in the final period.

As you might imagine in an embarrassing, nationally televised rout, the Canadiens did their best to fight back, leading to a third period full of shenanigans and fisticuffs. 64 minutes in penalties were handed out. But this part of the game didn't go well for Montreal either.

The moment that most will be talking about: Max Pacioretty's assertion that Mikhail Grabovski bit him during a pileup that took place at the 11:30 mark. Did he? You decide:

And another look from the side:

If you're having trouble seeing it, look for the moment where Grabovski grabs Pacioretty's arm, closes his eyes, and appears to sink his teeth into it into the limb like an ear of corn. It's pretty tough to miss.

(UPDATE: Grabovski will have a hearing with the NHL on Sunday afternoon.)

But while I can't believe I'm saying this, it's also going to be pretty tough to discipline. The stanchion does a good job of obscuring it the latter clip, and in the former clip, the alleged bite to the inside of Pacioretty's forearm is obscured by the outside of Pacioretty's forearm.

If the Alex Burrows incident taught us anything, it's that even when teeth are visible, sometimes the league will still call it inconclusive. And nothing happened with Chris Stewart's allegation that Derek Dorsett bit him last week.

But the silliness didn't end there.

@HarrisonMooneyUsually when we're featuring the ECHL's Bakersfield Condors, it's because of some wacky promotion, like a Justin Bieber contract offer, or a funny theme jersey, like one designed like a wrestling singlet.

Before their Friday night game against the Las Vegas Wranglers (Hey, two Puck Daddy favorites!), a real, live condor was to be at center ice atop a perch during the national anthem, accompanied by its handler. Maybe it didn't like the vocal abilities of the singer or just had better plans because the condor felt it needed to make a break for it.

The fact that the bird beast didn't fly away with a small child in the crowd is a miracle.

Credit to the Condors players and head coach Matt O'Dette for sticking their ground, somewhat, and not taking swings at the bird beast as it made its way toward them.

Now, funny as all of this is, we should note that it's downright shameful the condor couldn't respect the anthem. Is it because he's an Andean condor, native to South America, not a California condor, so the anthem meant nothing to him? Or perhaps he's just a communist.

Well. You just became Don Cherry's least favourite mascot, Commie the Condor.

Stick-tap @BroadcastHolt

Follow Sean Leahy on Twitter at @Sean_Leahy