MJD

This week's guy who should wash Gilbert Brown's jockstrap

MJD
Shutdown Corner

Reviving an old favorite, this Friday we look back at some of this week's poor behavior and nominate one gentleman who has earned the distinctly unappealing task of hand-scrubbing Gilbert Brown's jock strap.

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This week's nominees, in alphabetical order:

Albert Haynesworth(notes), Washington Redskins. Haynesworth is staying away from mandatory Redskins practices because he doesn't like the team's formation, and pretty much everyone agrees that Albert's the knucklehead in this situation. Not even I, with my player-friendly tendencies, can sympathize too much with Haynesworth here. They gave you $21 million in bonus money. You should probably play a little football for them, don't you think?

Marvin Harrison(notes), formerly of the Indianapolis Colts. Even if police aren't able to link the gun they confiscated from Harrison to any previous crimes (which Howard Eskin of 610 WIP in Philadelphia says they're trying to do), we've still got Harrison driving the wrong way down a one-way street and lying to police about a gun he had in his car.

Robert Kraft, New England Patriots. This one depends entirely on whether or not you believe Logan Mankins(notes). Mankins, a Pro-Bowl guard for the Patriots, says Bob Kraft promised him that after the 2009 season, they'd redo his contract. It is now well after the 2009 season, and Logan Mankins does not have a new contract. And now, he's accusing Kraft and the Patriots of being great big fibbers. "Growing up, I was taught a man's word is his bond," said Mankins. "Obviously this isn't the case with the Patriots."

Ray McDonald(notes), San Francisco 49ers. The Niners defensive lineman was picked up on suspicion of DUI this week. And for the purposes of this competition, he gets bonus points for two things. First, it was 6 p.m. The rare daylight DUI. And secondly, he was going 94 mph.

Derrick Morgan(notes), Tennessee Titans. Morgan, the Georgia Tech standout, was the 16th overall pick in this year's NFL draft, and I believe he's the first draftee to get arrested post-draft. Congratulations, young man! He was arrested and charged with speeding and driving on a suspended license. He only got up to 91 mph, though. And he wasn't drunk. Rookie.

And the winner is ...

Ray McDonald! He's not the biggest name on the list, but his crime is the most egregious. When you get yourself tanked up, settle into the driver's seat and hit 94 on the speedometer, you have officially turned yourself into an instrument of death. I'm glad you apologized and all, but still ... Gilbert has something waiting for you.

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