Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has a team that has won exactly one playoff game since 1996. The last time his team won a Super Bowl was at the end of the 1995 season, which means that he has essentially been Lombardi-less through the entire internet era. The Cowboys haven's even made the playoffs in the last two seasons, and normally outspoken position coaches like defensive coordinator Rob Ryan are keeping their mouths shut these days.
Not so for Jones, who seems to be intent on securing his position as the George Steinbrenner of the NFL. Without specific qualifications, he has decided that he shall be the personnel man for his team, and son Stephen (who has even fewer specific qualifications), shall be his second banana. Generally speaking, the more Jerry Jones talks, the more the Cowboys falter, so fans of the team should be nervous about statements Jones recently made while at the team's training camp in Oxnard, Calif.
From the New York Daily News:
"I know we're standing here today," Jones told a crowd before the Cowboys' first practice. "But we want you to come to (Cowboys Stadium) and watch us beat the New York Giants' ass, OK?"
Ahem, Jerry. The Giants are 3-0 in Cowboys Stadium. That includes the first-ever regular season game in Jerryworld, and a 37-34 win last year when Jason Pierre-Paul blocked a potential game-tying field goal. The Giants swept the Cowboys in the teams' division series last season -- two games in which Eli Manning threw for 746 yards and five touchdowns. In the last five seasons, the Cowboys have put together four of five non-losing seasons, which is impressive on the surface ... until you remember that in those same five years, the Giants have won two of the franchise's four Super Bowls.
So ... really, Jerry? You're gonna go there? Head coach Jason Garrett, who will probably get his professional ass beaten if the proposed Giants beatdown doesn't happen, was more reserved about the whole thing.
"Jerry Jones owns this football team," the coach said. "He has owned it for 23 years, so he can do anything he wants."
Ryan, known like brother Rex to pop off at the slightest provocation, was equally silent in this case. "I'd rather it be him than me," Ryan said. "Hey, he's the man ... Day 1, I'm not calling anybody out. I've learned. This is a bigger media than some of the other spots that I've been, so I'm going to keep my mouth shut and work."
Now, there's an idea.
Even better were the comments Jones made at the team's introductory press conference over the weekend. We'll just let you bathe in the glory without comment:
Now, Cowboys PR man Rich Dalrymple made sure to remind the assembled media (who were busy laughing Beavis and Butthead-style at that point) that the REAL definition of "glory hole" is tied back to Jones' wildcatting days in the oil industry. There are other, more sketchy meanings we will not discuss here, but we assume you get our point -- that's probably not the best way for Jerry to go on that one. Especially since the Cowboys have seen precious little "glory hole" (pause so we can laugh like 12-year-olds again) through the last decade and beyond.
Anyway, keep talking, Jerry. The Giants, Eagles, and Redskins certainly appreciate it.