George Bernard Shaw once said of fighting that when you wrestle with -- oh, who am I kidding, once you saw "lingerie" and "brawl" in the title, there was no shot of you reading any introduction to this video.
In the unlikely event that you haven't yet hit play, this is the conclusion of a recent lingerie football game between the Tampa Breeze and Miami Caliente:
1. The fracas seems to have been started by a woman on the winning team, who taunted the losing squad. As we all know, lingerie football is nothing without its integrity, so the subsequent beatdown was a given.
2. If a league is going to be created upon the foundation of women-objectification, at least have the decency to provide pillows for the fights.
3. Who are all these people attending lingerie football games? (And in two NFL cities, no less.) Is there this much demand for women in half-pads playing football? For as easy as it is to find scantily-clothed women on the Internet, you'd think going to a game wouldn't be worth the effort.
3a. Who brings a child to one of these games?
4. The officials are wearing normal officiating outfits. Why not get some dudes from Chippendales to ref in Speedos. You know, draw in a female clientele.
5. How do refs call penalties on players when nobody is wearing a number?
6. To the kind sir who gave metal hands at the 52-second mark in the video, kudos. You killed it for good. (And to the guy at the 59-second mark who gives another sign -- well, I guess we have our answer as to who attends lingerie football games.)
- George Bernard Shaw
- Tampa Breeze
- Miami Caliente