Unimpeachable source Rob Lowe says Peyton Manning is retiring

Chris Chase

According to noted NFL analyst and star of "Drew Peterson: Untouchable" Rob Lowe, Indianpolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning will not return to the NFL.

Lowe tweeted the news late Wednesday afternoon, qualifying it with every gossip's favorite verb, "hearing:"

The actor sent two more tweets in the following minutes, one to NFL Network's Rich Eisen asking if the news was true (aka, making sure someone in the know saw the tweet) and another saying that he hopes he's wrong, even though he usually isn't (aka, covering his bases).

[ Related: Giants backup QB works up sweat in Eli Manning's absence ]

Lowe currently stars in NBC's "Parks and Recreation," a sitcom that takes place in an Indianapolis suburb. This leads to the very real possibility that Lowe is either confusing Hollywood scripts with real news or Ron Swanson has more clout and inside sources in Indiana than we ever knew.

Do I think this is legit? No. Do I think there's a chance this is legit? A very, very slim one. Do I think that Rob Lowe breaking news about Peyton Manning's retirement would literally be the greatest scoop since Watergate? Absolutely.

[ Y! TV: Check out videos and photos from 'Parks and Recreation' ]

Although, there's this May, 2011 tweet from the always-interesting account of Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay -- apparently, Irsay and Lowe are pretty tight:

Congrads 2 my bud Rob Lowe on book n tour Rob's a bunker friend and we embrace r scars n whisper 2 ancient trees

Oh, and there's this, tweeted by Irsay on Wednesday as a response to Lowe's "breaking news..."

My sources tell me Rob will star in an epic remake of "Deep Throat" with aging porn stars and 4 finger circus clowns!

Alright, then!

Update: ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Peyton's impending retirement comes as news to his father, Archie. "He ain't retiring," the elder Manning said. "I think he would've told me." Tom Condon, Peyton's agent, was also unaware of his client's reported plans.

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