The wait for the actual game to begin can be maddening. If you're tired of hour number 22 of the Super Bowl pregame show, and you'd like to poke around and gamble on ridiculous things, here's a primer on some of the more ridiculous options out there.
Here, you can gamble on which company's commercial will be the highest-rated in USA Today's ad meter. The favorites are Anheuser-Busch at 2.5-to-1, and Frito-Lay at 3-to-1. The longest shot is the U.S. Census Bureau at 22-to-1, and even at those odds, I think the people at betED.com are overrating the comedic potential of the Census folks.
You can bet on the total of Kim Kardashian's lovely measurements: 34-26-39, -38.5 vs. Reggie Bush's(notes) total rushing and receiving yards. Essentially, you're gambling on whether or not Reggie Bush will have more than 60.5 rushing and receiving yards, but it's always more fun if we can objectify a Kardashian in the process.
You can also bet on Pete Townshend of The Who going over or under 5.5 windmill maneuvers while playing the guitar.
At the conclusion of the game, someone will get the MVP trophy, and he will most likely thank somebody. You can bet on who he'll thank first. The best bet is God at 4-to-5, followed by his teammates at 2-to-1. The longest shot is the coach at 9-1.
This one's becoming a yearly staple: When the winning team dumps a cooler of ice-cold Gatorade on their coach at the conclusion of the game, what color will it be? Clear or water is the most likely at 3-to-2, with yellow right behind at 5-to-6. If it's blue or red, cha-ching! Those pay 12-to-1.
Carrie Underwood's rendition of the national anthem can be a money-making venture for you. The over/under on how long it takes her is one minute and 42 seconds.
Because sideline reporters always make such great gambling outlets, you can bet on which sideline reporter will appear on camera first, after the opening kickoff: Solomon Wilcots or Steve Tasker. My advice here is to consider the Freeney factor. Find out which guy is on the Colts sideline, and put your money there.
Let's tie America's favorite legal gambling operation, the stock market, to America's favorite illegal gambling activity, betting on the NFL. Here's what that looks like:
Saints win, Market up: 7-to-2
Saints win, Market down: 17-to-4
Colts win, Market up: 3-to-2
Colts win, Market down: 19-to-10
If you'd like to bet on someone else's misfortune, here's one for you. If any member of The Who smashes their guitar, you can bet on what the guitar will hit first. The floor is the odds-on favorite at 1-to-5, followed by a speaker or a microphone. If it's the drummer or a fan, you get paid 200-to-1.
I love the cross sports bets here, and this one's my favorite. The winning car number of NASCAR's Bud Shootout against the total number of points scored in the first half. Well done with that one, oddsmaker.
This is a good one, too. Notre Dame center Luke Harangody went up against South Florida earlier today, and you can bet on his total points + total rebounds -0.5 vs. the distance of first field goal made in Super Bowl XLIV. As it happened, Harangody had a nice day, with 19 points and 15 boards.
And finally, you could've bet on the number of touchdown passes by Peyton Manning(notes) vs. the number of birdies carded by Phil Mickelson in the final round of the Northern Trust Open. Through 13 holes, Mickelson's made only two birdies.