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Rob Gronkowski needs someone to explain to him how a time machine might work

Eric Edholm
Shutdown Corner

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Rob Gronkowski (USA Today Sports Images)

We're big fans of both New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski (who could forget such wonderful posts as, "The Gronks"?) and Patriots radio analyst Scott Zolak ("Unicorns and show ponies!") here at the Shutdown Corner.

So when these two superheroes came together for a little chat session, we were not going to sit out.

Zolak asks Gronk some lighter-hearted questions. What ensues is priceless.

Where to begin ...

In fairness to Gronk, we'd all love a time machine, right? It woud be the hit of every party we ever threw ... and then relived again and again, if it was that good. It'd undo all the dumb things we've ever done. You could theoretically go back and witness some of the great moments in world history, provided you had the right clothing and monetary funds of the day.

But Gronk apparently has other designs — and they have nothing to do with leaving the present time.

He might be thinking of something from the movie "Dune," or perhaps the "Doctor Who" series. But assuming Gronk might be enough of a sci-fi fan to watch those things, he might also have an idea of how a time machine might work.

So, OK, he doesn't. What he wants is a teleportation device. Fine — almost as cool as a time machine. But if he gets one, where does he want to go? Florida?! Home of the dysfunctional NFL teams?

Seriously, Gronk would be able to visit the Seven Wonders of the World — the new ones and the old ones — in this mythical device, and he picks freakin Florida?

Lastly, the idea of a "super power" — think more of an intangible thing, Gronk: the ability to fly, run incredibly fast, or in Gronk terms, know what color underwear women are wearing — is a bit lost on him.

Someone needs a timeout. Or maybe a new favorite superpower to wish for.

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Eric Edholm is a writer for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at or follow him on Twitter!

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