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Chris Chase

Ranting Channing Crowder confuses Helen Keller and Anne Frank

Chris Chase
Shutdown Corner

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There was an ugly accusation made by Channing Crowder(notes) after his Miami Dolphins lost on Sunday to the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday. Our Les Carpenter has an excellent column on it, and I recommend giving it a read. But we're not here to talk about whether Crowder was spit on by Le'Ron McClain(notes), we're here to talk about Crowder's hilarious post-game rant about the incident.

After the game, Crowder held court at his locker in front of a gaggle of reporters. He went off about McClain, the refs and managed to make a bizarre historical reference in the process:

"I just got told not to talk about it, so I can't talk about it. But Le'Ron McClain spit in my face. He spit in my face. That's some real [two-letter word that rhymes with no] [expletive]. So if you talk to him, go tell him. He's a [same two letter word]. And if he ever comes to Miami, he's got to see me."

(Note that this whole diatribe begins with Crowder saying he can't talk about it. He then proceeds to talk about it for a full minute.) At this point, Crowder explains that his complaints to the refs were ignored.

"Then they said something about they let Karlos Dansby(notes) get away with a face mask the play before. Who the [expletive] cares? A guy just spit in my face! I don't give a damn about Karlos pulling somebody's face mask. Like they didn't see Chad Henne(notes) get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank."

The natural question followed: What does a young Jewish girl writing a diary while hiding out during World War II have to do with Stevie Wonder, a spitting incident and the team of Dan Marino?

"Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller ... I don't know who the [expletive] Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. [Expletive] it. I'm not as swift as I usually am.

"That's the first time I've ever been spit in my face in my life. And that's the worst thing you can do to a man as another man, spit in somebody's face. Why would you do that? Why would you try to? Because you're scared of me? Really? Spit on me and then walk away real fast and let your team protect you? That's what he did."

I'll have to do a little research, but I'm going to assume that's the first time either Helen Keller or Anne Frank has been mentioned in an NFL locker room, let alone in the same interview. I look forward to next week when Crowder compares coach Tony Sparano to Anne Sullivan.

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