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NFL will cut down even further on celebrations, because touchdowns aren’t supposed to be fun

Because scoring a touchdown in a professional football game is a fairly routine achievement, and because NFL teams are comprised of delicate flowers whose sensibilities are as easily upset as a dandelion in the spring breeze, the NFL has decided to crack down still further on post-touchdown celebrations. Oh, come on.

Alas, it's true, per Pro Football Talk: officials at both the Vikings and Panthers camps are warning players that refs will crack down further on celebrations where players "spin" the ball. For those of you not familiar with the NFL's arcane jargon, "spinning" is where the player swiftly twists and then releases the ball, point downward, so that the ball rotates rapidly on its end. Apparently it's something the kids are doing these days because it causes intense outrage, or something.

As PFT notes, a variety of celebratory acts are no longer permissible and will result in a penalty: “These acts include but are not limited to: sack dances; home run swing; incredible hulk; spiking the ball; throwing or shoving the ball; pointing; pointing the ball; verbal taunting; military salute; standing over an opponent (prolonged and with provocation; or dancing.” In other words: ANY KIND OF DEMONSTRATION OF ANYTHING RESEMBLING A HUMAN EMOTION. Somebody needs to loop all of these together in one single monstrous celebration. It'd be worth the 15 yards, easy.

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