Mike Shanahan has no time for your Tweetbooks, whippersnapper. (Getty Images)
You're reading this article on the Internet. After this, you're going to check your email and perhaps Facebook or Twitter. The Internet is, most likely, an integral part of your life in 2013, which is as it should be. But there are a few who apparently aren't quite convinced this Internet fad is going to stick.
At a press conference on Monday, Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan revealed that not only does he not use "the Twitter" (no surprise there), he doesn't even have an email account.
"I just learned to text about two years ago, so that’s where I’m at," Shanahan said. "No, seriously, I don’t have an e-mail. I do text, and I’m not very good at that."
If you believe that, and we choose to because it's a better story, that's fairly shocking, and, honestly, a bit ridiculous, given the fact that email has been a standard medium of communication for nearly two decades. It's one thing for baseball commissioner Bud Selig to say he's never sent an email and never will; he's 78 years old and he's also Bud Selig.
But Shanahan is only 60 years old. AOL started sending out those CD-ROM dialup-access discs back in the early '90s, which means Shanahan got off the tech train when he was in his late 30s ... which in turn means all of our assumptions about NFL head coaches being Howard Hughes-esque cloistered hyperfocused idiot savants are exactly on target.
Other facts* you may not know about Mike Shanahan:
-Still believes leeches are the best way to treat RG3's knee problems. And if not leeches, fire.
-Still rides a covered wagon to Redskins training camp.
-Cries with surprise and relief every time the sun comes up.
-Believes music peaked with Perry Como.
-Replaces the tin can and string he uses for phone calls every six months.
-Is very, very scared of that flat box hanging on his den wall because "the little people with nice teeth live inside it and talk to me."
-Once arrested by the TSA outside Dulles Airport for bowhunting what he called "Giant Iron Birds."
Feel free to add your own. Don't bother forwarding this to Shanahan, though.
*-Facts may not be true. This is the Internet, after all.
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- Mike Shanahan