INDIANAPOLIS — The world knew that Michael Sam's press conference on Saturday at the NFL scouting combine would be a circus. We just didn't know what kinds of questions he would get.
After all, Sam revealed his sexuality to the world more than two weeks ago — how much more was there to know about that?
Still, it didn't stop several media members from beating a dead horse and asking some rather odd questions in the process. Sam handled the process brilliantly, but it didn't stop us from wondering what might have been.
Here were a few of the more, um, interesting questions asked, how Sam answered the questions and — for a little fun — here's how we think he should have answered them:
Sam was asked if he was worried about reaction from fans of opposing teams.
Sam's answer: "No. I've been getting a lot of great positive from all kinds of fans. And you know when I'm on the field I really don't focus on fans, so I just focus on my responsibilities, which is the guy right across from me."
What Sam should have said: "Oh the fans will be real angry with me ... when I am sacking their quarterback."
Sam was asked what the last couple of weeks were like.
Sam's answer: "I've been missing in action, so I haven't really been paying attention to the media. I don't really know."
What Sam should have said: "Why, what happened in the last couple of weeks?"
Sam was asked about the Miami Dolphins' hazing situation and if he'd fear going to a team like that.
What Sam said: "If the Miami Dolphins drafted me I would be excited to be a part of that organization. But I'm not afraid of going into that environment. I know how to handle myself. I know how to communicate with my teammates. I know how to communicate with the coaches and other staff I need to communicate with."
What Sam should have said: "Let me ask my personal adviser Ted Wells and I'll get back to you."
Sam was asked if his Missouri teammates had changed when he told them he was gay back in August.
Sam's answer: "No. It was just the same like the first day I was there."
What Sam should have said: "Yes, they changed. They transformed into space mutants."
Sam was asked what he was working on leading up to the combine.
Sam's answer: "I've been working on everything from 40 [yard dash] to vertical jump to everything — the whole nine yards."
What Sam should have said: "Wait, is that actually a question that doesn't have to do with my sexuality?"
Sam was asked if his sexuality was trumping Michael Sam the football player.
Sam's answer: "Well, heck yeah, I wish you guys would just say, 'Michael Sam, how's football going? How's training going?' I would love for you to ask me that question. But it is what it is. And I just wish you guys would just see me as Michael Sam the football player instead of Michael Sam the gay football player."
What Sam should have said: "You guys are finally catching on!"
Sam was asked if there were homophobic jokes made at his expense in the locker room after his announcement.
Sam's answer: "Everyone could be normal around me if they wanted to. We joke around because it’s a brotherhood, it’s a family, so we can say things to each other, no harm, we don’t draw blood, it’s all fun and games."
What Sam should have said: "My jokes were the funniest ones."
Sam was asked how he would handle a teammate harassing him and if he'd fight them.
Sam's answer: "If someone wants to call me a name I’ll have a conversation with that guy and hopefully it won’t lead to anything else."
What Sam should have said: "I'd challenge them to a round of the Oklahoma Drill."
Sam was asked if he thought his draft stock would suffer because, you know, he's gay.
Sam's answer: "I am not a GM, I do not have control over my draft status. All I can control is me preparing myself to get the best scores out there."
What Sam should have said: "If I'm in charge of assessing my draft stock, the Texans better get the first pick ready for me."
Sam was asked if he felt like a trailblazer.
Sam's answer: "A trailblazer? I feel like I’m Michael Sam."
What Sam should have said: "The Trail Blazers? You want me to play point guard in Portland or something?"
Sam was asked about an agent's comment that he would be a marketing dream and that he could have a movie made about him.
Sam's answer: "I’m not focused on that at all."
What Sam should have said: "I hope it would be better than 'Draft Day.' The previews look awful."
Sam was asked what player he models himself after.
Sam's answer: "There’s a lot of great athletes, especially pass rushers out there. I want to try to make a name for myself. I admire Michael Strahan, he’s an awesome pass rusher, and many more like him. I’d like to make a name for myself."
What Sam should have said: "Model, like clothing? Definitely Gronk with the Zubaz pants. Amazing look."
Sam was asked about his inconsistent sack production this past season.
Sam's answer: "Winning is hard, buddy. Winning is hard. There’s going to be games when I might not get a sack. Throughout the games I did have some inconsistency there, but for the most part we as a defensive line did put a lot of pressure on quarterbacks, made them uncomfortable in the pocket to have to go and run away or throw the ball out of bounds."
What Sam should have said: He should have said those same first four words, dropped the mic and let the endless applause carry him off the stage. Brilliant.
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