Justin Tuck didn't like it last season when opponents jabbed their fingers into his helmet and yanked, presumably to aggravate his neck injury. (Can't imagine why. That sounds downright pleasant.) One way to prevent such ungentlemanly conduct is to make it impossible for anyone to stick their fingers through a facemask. And that's how we get Tuck's new 2012 helmet that's half hockey goalie, half Hannibal Lecter and all parts overprotective.
Via Uni Watch:
One can only assume the Subway commercial that portrays Tuck unsuccessfully trying to eat a five-dollar footlong while wearing his helmet is already in pre-production. (Michael Phelps will have a similar problem eating his meatball sub underwater. Cut to Jared from Subway, sitting under an umbrella, noshing happily.)
How will Tuck's helmet protection continue to evolve? Piranhas under his facemask? One of those dog collar fences for anyone who gets too close? Each bar comes equipped with a mini-guillotine? By 2015, Tuck will be playing defensive end from the Popemobile.