Note to TV execs: Make this happen.
In what might be the most ridiculous and essential would-be programming ever, the famous Gronkowski clan — led by inimitable New England Patriots tight end Rob — are pitching an animated show based on their lives.
It's ... something to behold.
Deadspin first obtained the promo video of "The Gronks," a semi-fictional (we think) slice of the lives of brothers Gordy Jr., Chris, Dan, Glenn, and Rob, three of whom have played in the NFL, plus Papa Gordy, doing Gronkowski type things.
Warning: You might want to get those earmuffs ready — the video is, er, unscrubbed of verbal bombs and most certainly isn't something you'll be showing the kids on Saturday mornings, despite the promise of animation.
Among the semi-SFW highlights:
• Several members of the clan pelting oncoming cars with snowballs (and lobbing a few choice words their way, too).
• One brother (not sure which) slamming another brother's head into a window. Thankfully, the glass doesn't break.
• Zubaz. Everywhere.
• The story of Rob sending a (really) bad email to his former teacher. "I don't think that did well with the teacher community or the principal community," Glenn recalled.
• The brothers walking around pool parties after taking Viagra "to impress the girls."
• Some school official-looking man saying, "You guys are banned. You have to be 300 feet away from the girls' locker room."
Just pure gold. I'd watch. I'd be dumber for it, and feel guilty as hell, but I'd watch. This is the male answer to the "Real Housewives" series, jacked up on Creatine.
And if the show isn't picked up, here's another money-making idea: The Gronks should just rent themselves out to guys who want a lot more fun at bachelor and birthday parties, and the like. Something memorable would happen, guaranteed.
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- New England Patriots