On Randy Moss(notes) -- (Assumes three-point stance on stool) "Now look, this guy here is a playmaker. When he was with the New England Patriots, one of the best offenses in the National Football League, he was a firestarter. That's why I call him 'Kurt Russell from "Backdraft".' He's gonna go out there, make plays and be a big-time playmaker for the Minnesota Vikings. Randy Moss might be the best big-play receiver of all time."
On Rex Ryan -- "When we talked to Rex Ryan on Friday, that guy was like a bundle of joy. Crackin jokes, so relaxed, it's no wonder his players love him. What a character this guy is. He reminds me of the old Baltimore Ravens defensive coordinator, who was also big and jolly. But Rex Ryan is one heck of a coach too. You can bet, Jaws, that the New York Jets will be ready to play tonight. Because if Rex Ryan doesn't like your effort, you can hit the road."
On Brett Favre(notes) -- "What can I say about Brett Lorenzo Favre? Plenty. That guy is a winner. When we used to gameplan for Brett Favre when I was with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, we used to just throw our hands up and surrender. The guy is a legend. His passion for the game may be the greatest we've ever seen. Unbridled joy. Pure enthusiasm. He just loves football! When we talked to him this weekend, he was as excited as a little kid, which reminds me that I need to make a hair cut appointment."
On Darrelle Revis(notes) -- "They call this guy 'Revis Island', which is why I call him 'Revis Island.' He's like the warden out there, with those big keys, patrolling around the football field for the New York Jets of the American Football Conference Eastern Division in the National Football League. That guy can cover, Jaws. He's one of the greats. If he's on Randy Moss, watch out. This could be one of the greatest all-time confrontations we'll ever see on Monday Night Football."
On Mark Sanchez(notes) -- "You know what they call this guy, Mike? The MANchise. You cannot deny the accuracy this guy has out there with play-action passes and three-step drops and five-step drops and wildcat and split formations and bunch sets. Remember Joe Namath, Jaws? This guy -- the MANchise -- could be the next one."