Because I felt bad ranking the AFC and NFC West at the bottom evey week, today's rankings look at the worst divisions in football. Hence, the AFC West (still the pits) heads our list while the NFC East occupies the cellar.
As always, the division's cumulative non-division record is listed in parenthesis. Last week's rankings aren't included because that would have been too confusing.
1) AFC West (6-18)
I'd say the picture above pretty much captures the essence of the Broncos defense.
2) NFC West (6-18)
The second-place team in the NFC West hasn't finished over .500 since 2003. Every other division has had at least two teams with winning records from 2005 on.
3) AFC East (16-8)
So I was watching 27 Dresses last night on HBO. Yeah, I said it. I'm not proud, but it was a slow TV night and I have a cold. Anyways, Edward Burns is in the movie and when he first appeared on screen I thought, "why is Eddie Burns slumming it in a garbage movie like this?" And then I looked at his IMDB profile to prove my point, only to discover that Edward Burns has been involved with only one halfway-decent movie in his career, Saving Private Ryan. (Granted, that movie is awesome, but he was like the 6th lead.) Thus, Edward Burns is regarded as a fairly impressive actor, but in reality he's vastly overrated and has done little professionally to deserve the lofty status he has, much like the AFC East.
4) AFC North (9-13)
Q: How can the AFC East, at 16-8, be worse than either of the NFL's North divisions?
A: Clearly you didn't watch the Buffalo-New England game.
5) NFC North (7-15)
Alright, stay with me here, but I'm about to blow your mind. You know Brett Favre (the Jets quarterback). Remember how he played for Green Bay last year and then left for New York. Well, what if he didn't? (This NFC North recap has been brought to you by Tony Kornheiser.)
6) AFC South (15-9)
The Jags are the best 4-5 team in the NFL, which is sort of like being the most attractive person at a speed dating event.
7) NFC South (17-7)
I'm not yet prepared to eat my words about the Falcons. But, then again, I'm real stubborn like that. (And I've also yet to see Atlanta play. Looking at their schedule, it appears that the D.C. area might make it the whole season without getting one Falcons game on TV, unless one of their late-season tilts with Tampa or Minnesota gets flexed to Sunday night. Ravens game, oh we got plenty of those.
8) NFC East (18-6)
Week three was too early to coronate the Cowboys and week 11 is too early to bury them.
Photo: Getty Images