Jerry Jones has run afoul of his team's fans. (US Presswire)
We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch's immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.
"Steven M" needs 25,000 signatures for his online petition to be taken under advisement by the White House, and at his point, he's got just 359. Only 24,641 to go! Categorizing his cause under "Human Rights" as he has done may offend some, but perhaps "Steven M" considers Cowboys fandom under Jones to be cruel and unusual punishment. After all, the Cowboys have won exactly one playoff game since the 1996 season, and they're currently undergoing an enormously disappointing campaign in which a postseason berth is all but a pipe dream.
Jones has undergone increasing scrutiny for his football decisions this season, famously telling NBC's Bob Costas that if Jones the owner looked at Jones the GM with an objective eye, Jones the GM would probably not have a current job. But hey -- when it's the same guy, that's some kind of job security.
"Well, I think so, because he was there to dismiss," Jones said. "I have always worked for myself and you can't do that. You basically have to straighten that guy out in the mirror when you work for yourself. But certainly, if I'd had the discretion, I've done it with coaches and certainly I would have changed a general manager."
But in this case, that ain't gonna happen.
"We are not structured that way," Jones told Dallas' KRLD-FM in early November. "We didn't structure it that way with my ownership. There's no way that I would be involved here and not be the final decision-maker on something as important as players, and that is a key area. That's never been anybody's misunderstanding. It's been a debated thing, but it's just not going to happen."
Apparently, not even if President Obama got involved. But here's a question: Why would he? Obama is a hardcore Chicago Bears fan, and he's been one for years. Keeping Jones in his current seat just about ensures that the Bears will have one less obstacle on their annual road to the Super Bowl. And this is a rare case in which Obama could let his personal preferences underwrite his executive decision.
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