Cry, Whine and Moan: Almost literally for Jim Zorn

MJD

"Cry, Whine and Moan" is a weekly Sunday evening feature where fans of victory-challenged teams can gather to commiserate. Feel free to vent your frustration with your team's players, coaches or management in the comments below. And please, fans of teams who aren't on the list: Leave those less fortunate alone. This post is a taunting-free zone. The losers deserve that much.

Washington Redskins. It wouldn't feel right to make fun of the Redskins this week, because the guys on the defensive side of the ball all did their jobs, and then some. As for the offense and the coaching staff ...

The following quotes are passed along from Dan Steinberg's DC Sports Bog, your online home for postgame quotes that somehow find a way to further humiliate the Redskins. The Redskins needlessly burned two timeouts in the second half. Here's Jim Zorn explaining the first one:

"Well, shoot," he said. "Yeah. We got caught on a clock, and I really don't know how it happened, because I felt like we got the play in, I felt like we were out of the huddle, and we were down to :01 [on the clock] before we knew it. Absolutely have no idea how that happened. Because we were moving in and out of the huddle pretty well then.

And here's Jim Zorn explaining the second one.

"And then on the second timeout, that use of timeout, that was just so frustrating to me. We hurt Jason on that play. I hurt him, because I didn't have the needed call, and we got caught on time again, where we had a shift and a motion and I had to call timeout because it wasn't gonna be [snapped in time]. It was just totally mine, totally on me. I screwed us out of that timeout. I did everything I could just to maintain my composure, and then it absolutely had an issue at the end of this football game, so it's just on me."

I think we're about two Redskins losses away from Jim Zorn sitting in front of the mic at postgame press conferences, pulling out an acoustic guitar and singing a song he wrote called, "If You Had Any Shred of Mercy in Your Soul, You'd Fire Me Right Now."

Cleveland Browns. You've got absolutely nothing to be ashamed about this week, Browns. Any bad team can be boring. But you and the Lions went out there and made a hell of a football game out of something that should've only drained our collective will to live. That is a contribution. I'm absolutely serious about that. Thank you, Cleveland Browns, for what you did today.

Buffalo Bills. I have no Bills or Jaguars on my fantasy team, I had nothing else riding on the game, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even have noticed if CBS decided not to send a camera crew down to Jacksonville for this one. I realize that that's unfair since the Jags are 6-4 and a playoff contender, but I think on a subconscious level I see that no one in Jacksonville even cares, so that makes me not care myself.

Seattle Seahawks. Brett Favre(notes) completed 22-of-25 passes for an 89% completion rate to go with his four touchdowns. Is that it, Seattle? You're going to let him leave town with just that? What about his hot oil rubdown, or the personal one-on-one concert from Sir Mix-a-Lot?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Josh Freeman(notes) is playing, learning, making mistakes and hopefully learning from these mistakes. That's the good news, slight as it may be.

St. Louis Rams. Way to hang around in the second half and threaten to make a comeback, Rams. Late in that game, you didn't like look like a 1-9 team to me. Somewhere around 3-7, maybe.

Denver Broncos. That makes four losses in a row, and if Kyle Orton's(notes) ankle doesn't get healthy soon, I feel pretty confident that it'll become five on Thanksgiving night. Chris Simms(notes) is a loooooong way away from his 2005 "prime," which wasn't that great to begin with. Orton wasn't himself, either, with the bum ankle. If that doesn't get fixed, a 6-0 start is going to be wasted.

Pittsburgh Steelers. I think Mike Tomlin called Marvin Lewis after last week's game and said, "Listen, that game was tough on both of us. We can keep fighting it out for the division after Thanksgiving, but what do you say we both just take this weekend off?" An agreement was made, and there was joy in Kansas City and Oakland.

Cincinnati Bengals. Honest question: When Bruce Gradkowski(notes) stepped in and won his first game as a starter, do you think JaMarcus Russell(notes) said to himself, "Wow, I've really got a lot to learn" or, "If it had been me in there, we'd have won by 30"?