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Shutdown Corner

The Crisis: Dolphins reportedly considering adding Favre

Chris Chase
Shutdown Corner

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favre NOOOOO

With the threat of a continued reign of Brett Favre, Shutdown Corner turns to Thomas Paine and his famous pamphlet "The Crisis," written in 1776 to encourage Americans to rise up against the tyrannical British rule. (Note: These are the quotes below that are italicized)

"These are the times that try men's souls."

Miami Dolphins coach Tony Sparano won't rule out the possibility of bringing in Brett Favre to compete for the team's starting quarterback job with Chad Henne and Matt Moore.

"We did not make a proper use of last winter, neither could we, while we were in a dependent state."

This despite the fact that Favre was dreadful during the latter part of last year in Minnesota. Henne's 6-8 record on 15 touchdowns and 19 interceptions in 2010 were superior to Favre's 5-8 record on 11 touchdowns and 19 interceptions. THE NUMBERS DO NOT LIE!

"However, the fault, if it were one, was all our own; we have none to blame but ourselves."

Dolphins fans booed Chad Henne one day and the next day it comes out that Sparano is looking toward the 41-year-old Favre. You did this to yourselves, Miami.

"But no great deal is lost yet."

Sparano didn't confirm the report from Omar Kelly of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, he merely didn't deny it. "I can't rule anything out," he said. "I'm giving you the only answer I can give you." Favre's agent Bus Cook gave a non-denial denial as well.

"'Tis surprising to see how rapidly a panic will sometimes run through a country."

The 500-point drop in the Dow hasn't scared as many people Thursday as the possibility of Favre coming back.

"Yet panics, in some cases, have their uses; they produce as much good as hurt."

Yes, follow that advice, Dolphins fans. Flip out! Cheer your admittedly inferior quarterbacks! Convince Sparano and GM Jeff Ireland that their failure to get a quarterback in the draft and/or Kyle Orton was not in vain! Shower Chad Henne with gold, frankincense, and myrrh if you have to! Do something to prevent this tyranny!

[Related: Brett Favre's alma mater loses logo battle]

"All their wishes centered in one, which was, that the country would turn out and help them to drive the enemy back."

This is bigger than you though, Miami. The Dolphins open the season on "Monday Night Football." Can we, America, stand idly by while Jon Gruden gets the opportunity to sayeth "this guy here just loves the game" repeatedly during the opening ESPN game of the season?

"I thank God, that I fear not. I see no real cause for fear."

No, that's a lie. I'm petrified. I just went to the store to stock up on water and canned goods in case it becomes unsafe to leave my house for fear of seeing Brett Favre coverage somewhere.

"I know our situation well, and can see the way out of it."

Two words: Jeff George.

"Look on this picture and weep over it! and if there yet remains one thoughtless wretch who believes it not, let him suffer it unlamented."

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favre hands

Please let this be the last we speak of it.

With thanks to the original T-Paine.

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