Lawrence Vickers, watching out for ants. (AP)
Veteran fullback Lawrence Vickers signed with the Dallas Cowboys this offseason after six seasons with the Cleveland Browns and Houston Texans. What he did not expect when he got to Dallas was a new force he'd be fighting against -- fire ants.
On Wednesday, during the Cowboys' final week of organized team activities, Vickers was seen leaving the field with head athletic trainer Jim Mauer, holding his right hand near his waist. Vickers wasn't injured -- he had been attacked by the nasty bugs while on the practice field.
"Fire ants got in my pants," Vickers said. "I was freaking out. Oh, ants!"
That's a bad enough experience for anyone, but there's an added complication for Vickers -- he's allergic to ant bites. He found that out four months ago, when he was bitten, his neck swelled, and he started to wheeze. While he carries an EpiPen wherever he goes; it's a common cure for those allergic to various bites and stings when they're not near a hospital. But in this case, Vickers got a shot of Benadryl and was back out on the field 15 minutes later.
Still, he was affected by the memory of the little buggers. "I was trying not to squeeze myself in front of women out there," Vickers later said.
He then added a thought that will get him in every compendium of goofy sports quotes from here on out. "I wanted to pull my pants down and run inside, but I couldn't do that. When those ants get close to those testicles, there ain't no laughing about that."
Words to live by.
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- Lawrence Vickers