Kidding! Relax, Patriots fans. I know that taint is nothing to joke about.
And neither is dog murder. Two dogs belonging to Bears safety Adam Archuleta and his wife Jennifer Walcott were apparently poisoned with tainted meatballs. Archuleta's mother was taking care of the dogs when they were found dead, and there were meatballs sprinkled with green pellets found near their bowls. Later tissue samples from the dogs tested positive for strychnine. Police have leads, but no suspects. They're checking with the boys down at the crime lab.
Another of Archuleta's dogs, an Italian greyhound named Pierre, is alive and did not eat the meatballs. Lucky Pierre.
In other NFL-players-and-their-dogs news, Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce was served with a summons for animal neglect after one of this pitbulls got loose and was found underweight and with a respiratory illness. Pierce had left the dogs in someone else's care, but the summons alleges that Pierce didn't provide proper food, water, and veterinary care.
Said Clinton Portis of the Pierce situation, "Hey, they're his dogs." Okay, he didn't say that. But that might only be because no one asked him.
At least there no rape stands involved. That's progress, I guess. PETA's really turned things around for the NFL.
• Playmate’s Chihuahuas poisoned in Chandler / East Valley Tribune
• Antonio Pierce accused of neglecting dog / NJ.com