In the fine tradition of Ozzy Osbourne, Jeff Gordon, Eddie Vedder, Danica Patrick, and (whoa!) Mike Ditka, new Chicago Bears running back Chester Taylor, who signed a four-year, $12.5 million contract with the team in March, thought it would be a fine idea to take to the mike at Wrigley Field (or, as Gordon, said, "Wrigley Stadium") for a little butchery of that old baseball chestnut, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame".
Aieee. My favorite part was the modification of the song's fourth line to, "I don't care if you never come back!" At this rate, Chester, it's a pretty good bet. After that, he bagged on the song altogether, going instead for the mike-in-the-air, audience participation thing, coming back only to sing that rousing final line, "And ... I ... old ballgame!"
Or something like that. Now, if you're Bears head coach Lovie Smith, you have to be disturbed by one thing - Taylor's obviously reading the lyrics from a sheet, and he's still all over the place. Let's hope it's just a case of stage fright, and Taylor doesn't have any similar problems dealing with that 1,000-page Mike Martz playbook. Let's also hope he finishes those third-down runs better than the last half of this tune!
Note: Chicagonow.com has a list of history's worst seventh-inning singers, and Taylor makes the list at #5. Check out Mr. T!
- Chester Taylor