Some might say, "Don't ask/Don't tell" in situations like this, but asking the supremely verbose Chad Ochocinco not to tell on any subject seems like a waste of time. Besides, he's usually got something funny to say. So it was when Ocho was made available to the media for the first time as a receiver for the Miami Dolphins. After a workout in which he looked like the best receiver in a very iffy group from most accounts, Ocho held court as only he can.
"The workout was good," Chad told the Miami media. "It's been very good the past couple of days. I'm enjoying the opportunity to come here and play at home, to play with a great organization. There's a lot of changes being made here. Coaching staff, I'm enjoying it.
"I'm developing 'Brokeback Mountain' chemistry with the players. I'm just having fun. It feels good, too, to have a fresh start. I'm gonna do whatever I can not only to improve my game, but to help this organization get back to where they want to be."
"Brokeback Mountain," of course, is the 2005 Ang Lee film about two cowboys who explore an alternative relationship. One of the most awarded pictures in history, it's found enough of a place in pop culture where a receiver felt comfortable throwing it into casual conversation, so there you go.
Chad was a little less certain when asked whether he could be the team's No. 1 receiver sooner than later ("I was never good in math, so I'm not good with numbers"), but he was far more forthcoming when asked about playing for his hometown team after 11 years playing for the Cincinnati Bengals and New England Patriots.
"It's been a childhood dream of mine growing up watching the Marks brothers [receivers Mark Clayton and Mark Duper], watching Dan [Marino], some of those guys. It's awesome. You would think throughout the years; since 1988 I've always played Madden, and I've always used the Dolphins no matter where I was or where I was playing.
"To be able to wear the teal and orange, it's a pretty good feeling. But for me, it's about getting back to the basics, going back to where it all started. Not as far as playing at home in Miami, but as far as the game goes and getting back to who we're all used to seeing and how I became what I am. I think I kind of lost that. I'm looking to go back to Chad Johnson, and just make it live again."
We'll have much more from Chad through the season, to be sure. For now, he was back to work.
"That's about it," he told the reporters on the scene." I don't have much else to say. If any of you guys have any other questions, I pretty much covered everything there is to talk about.
"I love you. Enjoy the show."
We have our popcorn ready.