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Bill Parcells will have the best-dancing squad in the NFL

Shutdown Corner

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When Bill Parcells took over the Dolphins and told them that they were going to have to improve their ability to score, defensive end Jason Taylor might have misunderstood what he meant.

He won't be working on his swim technique and his bull-rush this off-season, but he will be putting himself in a position to score with the ladies (but not Zach Thomas's sister) with his lethal foxtrot and tango moves. Taylor's smooth dome, glistening smile, and gyrating hips are going to star on the next season of ABC's Dancing With the Stars.

The other athletes on the cast are Kristi Yamaguchi and Monica Seles. The "celebrities" include Priscilla Presley (thanks, she just had it stuffed), Adam Carolla, Marlee Matlin, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Guttenberg, Mario (the singer, not the mushroom-eating plumber), Penn Jillette, Cristian De La Fuente and Marissa Jaret Winokur.

Pro Football Talk speculates that Bill Parcells might not be thrilled with Taylor's decision, and that it might lead to Taylor getting traded or released. I disagree. I've always sensed that deep inside Bill Parcells, there's a deep and passionate love of rhythmic, loin-throbbing sensual dance.

• Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi on 'Dancing With the Stars' / Monterey County Herald
• Taylor to appear on Dancing With the Stars / Pro Football Talk

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