Superlatives: Stanford spreads the wealth in un-Lucky bloodbath

Matt Hinton
Dr. Saturday

Snap judgments on Saturday's best.

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LOGISTICS • Stanford's Offense.
Opting for a leisurely night for quarterback Andrew Luck, Stanford successful deployed its entire backfield en route to a school-record 446 yards rushing, sending three different backs over 90 yards on fewer than 15 carries apiece in a 65-21 obliteration of Washington. For the game, the Cardinal broke seven runs covering at least 20 yards, averaged a hair over 10 yards per carry and scored on ten of eleven offensive possessions.

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GEOMETRY • Keith Nichol, Michigan State.
Not only did Nichol solve one of the toughest angles in sports on a last-second, Hail Mary tip against Wisconsin: He also got the angle on instant replay after dragging linebacker Mike Taylor just far enough over the plane — for just long enough — to convince officials to overturn their original call on the field and award the Spartans the winning touchdown in a 37-31 thriller.

EFFICIENCY • Arkansas.
The Razorbacks effectively took a half-day at Ole Miss, rolling into the office a little before halftime but ultimately getting the same amount of work done in a 29-24 win. The sad-sack Rebels went ahead 17-0 midway through the second quarter, at which point they'd held the ball for a little over 18 minutes to Arkansas' five and outgained the Razorbacks 156 yards to 33. From there, Arkansas rolled up more than 400 yards en route to 29 straight points in less than two full quarters.

Honorable Mention: Alabama and Virginia Tech both found themselves knotted in a pair of tight, low-scoring defensive slugfests at the half of would-be blowouts against Tennessee and Boston College, respectively, before combining to outscore the Vols and Eagles 55 to 7 in the second half.

DIPLOMACY • Case Keenum, Houston.
A few days after Marshall's defense suggested it wouldn't mind knocking him out of the game, Keenum responded in appropriate, measured fashion, dropping 376 yards and six touchdowns on the Thundering Herd en route to a 63-28 incineration that pushed the Cougars' record to 7-0. Keenum also set a new Division I record for total yards in a career, passing Hawaii's Timmy Chang with 16,910 and counting.{YSP:MORE}

MATHEMATICS • Oklahoma and Texas Tech.
Somehow, the Sooners and Red Raiders managed to cram 34 full offensive possessions into a single regulation game, good for 1,108 yards and 79 points on 176 plays in a 41-38 Tech win. That's an average of about 1 minute, 46 seconds per possession, thanks in part to seven touchdown drives covering two minutes or less.

MODERN DANCE • Stedman Bailey, West Virginia.
Most of Syracuse's 49-23 upset over West Virginia on Friday night consisted of Mountaineer quarterback Geno Smith being knocked around by surprisingly relentless Orange pass rush. The Mountaineers were able to achieve a brief moment of grace, though, on the first of Smith's two touchdown passes, the result of an impressive over-the-shoulder catch and sideline tap-dance by Bailey:

The rest of Smith's night: Four sacks, two picks and a one-way ticket to the chaos that is the Big East race.

ROBOTICS • Dominique Davis, East Carolina.
The Pirates' version of the Spreadatron-3000™ was perfectly calibrated for Navy's defense, connecting on 26 consecutive passes to open the game in an eventual 38-35 ECU wineclipsing the previous record for consecutive completions set by the Tee Martin and Aaron Rodgers models in 1998 and 2004, respectively. Combined with ten consecutive completions to close last week's win over Memphis, Davis also broke Rodgers' record with 36 straight completions over two games.

FINANCE • Curtis McNeal, USC.
Adhering to Alec Baldwin's eternal mandate — "Always Be Closing" — the 5-foot-7, 180-pound McNeal carried the ball ten consecutive times for 47 yards on the final ten plays of USC's 31-17 win over Notre Dame, milking 6:48 off the clock to finish off the Fighting Irish in South Bend. The closing spurt left McNeal with 118 yards on 4.9 per carry in his first career start, arguably establishing him as the Trojans' new go-to back for… well, at least for the first series of next week's visit from Stanford.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP • Kourtnei Brown, Clemson.
The Tigers had more than enough offense to take care of North Carolina without any additional help, but Brown insisted on creating value by taking an interception and a fumble back for touchdowns in a 59-28 rout — Clemson's first and second defensive touchdowns of the year.

HUMANITARIANISM • Chip Kelly, Oregon.
The Ducks scored four touchdowns in 22 offensive snaps in the first quarter and returned an interception for a touchdown to take a 35-0 lead in the second at Colorado, at which point Kelly declared mercy and called off the dogs in an eventual 45-2 rout. Oregon had 291 yards of total offense in the first frame, and 236 yards the rest of the game.

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.