For the past week, we here at the Doc have chronicled the Missouri-Kansas feud that has been brewing over license plates and the drive by the Kansas University Alumni Association to get a Jayhawk-themed license plate in the state of the Missouri.
So far, this is the closest thing to the rekindling of this rivalry.
On Wednesday, Missouri Rep. Stephen Webber, who is based in Columbia, Mo., the home of the University of Missouri, sponsored a house-approved amendment blocking the Jayhawk from appearing on Missouri plates and said he would continue to do so until Kansas agreed to play Missouri in football and basketball.
We applauded Webber's attempt to get this rivalry back on track, but now that the audio of his rant about the license plates to the House of Representatives has been released, we're rethinking that endorsement.
Here is the text of his opposition to the license plates:
"Madam Speaker, I'm of course referring to the effort by some to affix the dreaded, disgusting Jayhawk symbol onto our Missouri license plates. Madam Speaker, in this state we brew the beer that the world drinks; we build the fighter planes that keep the world free; we raise the food that the world eats; and we raise Tiger fans. Madam Speaker, I was raised as one of those Tiger fans. To me there's no sweeter sounds than a good M-I-Z-screw-K-U chant.
Madam Speaker, there not nights that my town is happier than when those folks from the west have come into our community and in the Hearnes Center, Mizzou Arena we sent them whimpering back across the border. Madam Speaker, I would oppose an effort to affix that symbol to our license plates under pretty much any circumstance.
But it is exceptionally insulting this year. Madam Speaker, this year is the year that those folks to the west, after 120 years of competition, have decided that they no longer wish to meet our football team on the field of athletic competition. Now, to be honest, after the beat down that we've given them the last couple of years, I understand their decision. It is also the year that they've decided their basketball team, which they think very highly of, but if the year that they can't find the heart, they can't find the courage to play us, is the year that they want to add something to our license plate? I say, not if this body has anything to do with it.
Madam Speaker, I want to prevent the dreaded Jayhawk, the disgusting Jayhawk form being affixed to our beautifully crafted state license plates. I'm a reasonable person, though, Madam Speaker, and I tell you what: I think we should pass this amendment, and, if in the next 365 days, the Jayhawks find the courage to dig down in themselves and actually play us, then, Madam Speaker, I personally will file legislation to repeal this amendment. But if they're not willing to stand and play us, then, Madam Speaker, I say M-I-Z-no-KU."
This is quite possibly the worst speech ever written and gives me pause about the education one actually needs to be in the Missouri House of Representatives. Is a license plate really worth all of this? For the record, Rep. Webber didn't even go to Missouri. He went to Saint Louis University, so blame that school for his poor prose.
Again, we're all for Missouri and Kansas rekindling its rivalry, but the state of Missouri needs to put someone else in charge of spearheading the movement.
- - -
H/T to Lost Lettermen