You never know what you’re going to get in a postgame press conference with LSU coach Les Miles. Sometimes he’ll make some funny faces. Other times he’ll go on a rant about being (or not being) a flop.
On Saturday, following the Tigers 17-6 win over Florida, Miles went on a nonsensical rant about hammers and nails in response to reporter's reference that in last year's 14-6 loss to the Gators, LSU was a nail to Florida's hammer (whatever that means).
You can watch the video above (though, fair warning, it does have some mild language in it) or you can read the transcript below. In either case, it’s an entertaining couple minutes.
"I've got a question for you: It was a 14-6 game. We played our ass off, and how anybody could pick the hammer and the nail, when if fact, that hammer, or that nail, or whatever the hell you got picked, we catch a ball down there, we're fixing to take the lead and we turn it over. I mean explain to me how Kevin Minter who sets, damn near, the career tackle record in that game, how anybody could ever say 'hammer and nail.'
I can tell you right now, here's what happens: two very quality teams take the field and compete like a son-of-a-bitch for victory. And you know what? It's not a hammer and a nail relationship. It's an opportunity for an opponent to be equal, and to raise the level of play in such a fashion that they win.
And that's how this thing works. That, in fact, you respect the opponent, and he's not the hammer and he's not the frickin' nail. OK, he's the opponent. Understand? I'm just letting you know I resent that. I resent the fact that suddenly we were nailed. You got it? I mean, honest to Petes.
[Expletive] we were a pretty good team last year. I thought we played like a son-of-a-bitch in the stadium. I'm just letting you know, I felt differently than the nail, so you know."
The gist of this rant is that Miles doesn’t like being called a nail nor does he like being nailed. Or hammered. Or something.
I actually don't think anyone was sure what he was saying.
When Les Miles speaks, it’s best to have an interpreter.