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Kliff “Swagger” Kingsbury? Deadspin shares the most ridiculous marketing memo ever

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(AP)

Kliff Kingsbury is pretty cool, especially in the world of college football coaches.

He's 33, Rivals.com said he nervously laughed off a question and gave a no comment about dating Jessica Simpson back when, and returned to his alma mater of Texas Tech this offseason to be its next coach. Not too many Division I coaches have (allegedly) dated pop stars as far as we know.

But apparently, he's not quite cool enough.

[Also: Johnny Manziel drives away in a pretty sweet ride for an ESPN segment]

Deadspin published one of the goofiest emails you'll ever see, from Texas Tech alum Stephen Spiegelberg, the owner of a Lubbock clothing store named Chrome, to Joe Parker, deputy athletics director at Texas Tech, discussing how to market Kingsbury to the media to get him in the national spotlight a little more.

And, wow.

Here's the best part of the email that Deadspin published (it's well worth your time to go and read the whole thing) from Spiegelberg to Texas Tech:

"We place his nickname..GQ, Hollywood, Swagger..(we talk to him and see what we can place) we need to dial in Kliff's style and hammer it as a the "cool kids" here at Texas Tech."

So help me, we make one promise and one promise only at Dr. Saturday, and that's that we will never refer to a coach by the nickname "Swagger." Or "GQ," or "Hollywood," to be clear.

Spiegelberg says he has reached out to the owner of the Fred Segal clothing retailer in Los Angeles, which has "helped style Micheal Jackson (sic), Brad Pitt, Madonna, Ashley Olson (sic), Bruce Willis, The Beatles, Carrie Underwood, Adam Lambert." He will help Kingsbury get on the Hollywood A-list, the email says. He proposes Kingsbury be at New York Fashion Week among "the hip scenes around the nation." Seriously. We would absolutely love to see Nick Saban's reaction if these ideas were pitched to him. Frankly, Kingsbury's reaction to it all might be pretty humorous too.

Texas Tech spokesman Blayne Beal spoke of Spiegelberg's association with the school to Deadspin thusly:

"Like anybody else in T-shirt sales, you know, they're always trying to give us their input on things," Beal said.

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