College Football Hunger Games: The Games begin
This is the second post in the College Football Hunger Games series. To read the first and get caught up, click here.
Welcome back to the College Football Hunger Games.
When we last left, 23 coaches had been chosen to fight till the death until one champion was standing. Unfortunately, that pool will be cut today. Sad panda.
Here's a recap of the coaches involved: Les Miles, Nick Saban, Gary Pinkel, Chris Petersen, Mike Leach, Bob Stoops, Mike Gundy, Charlie Weis, Steve Spurrier, Mack Brown, Bo Pelini, Urban Meyer, Todd Graham, Lane Kiffin, Al Golden, Mark Richt, June Jones, Bill Snyder, Chip Kelly, Dana Holgorsen, Derek Dooley, Paul Johnson and Randy Edsall. If you want full bio and weapons, just read the first post.
The coaches are headed to the arena (Jerry World). In the middle of the field is a cornucopia with items necessary for survival in the harsh world that is the Dallas Cowboys Stadium, including, but not limited to, keys to the luxury boxes, access to the various concession stands, the remote for the giant scoreboard, oh an Band-aid's, water, food, weapons and other things necessary for survival. What our coaches don't know is that the power in Jerry World has been shut off. The only sun will come through the roof, which will put those coaches needing sun out in the open. The water is on, but only in certain parts of the stadium. There are natural resources for food (like concession stands) but the coaches will have to figure out how to access them to stay alive.
Once the horn sounds, the coaches will have to make a choice: go after one of the bags of coveted supplies in the cornucopia and risk death or run off and hope that they're survival skills are enough to get by.
By the way, I appreciate those who chimed in with their favorites. That was taken into consideration. Once again, use the comments section to continue to root on your favorites (or complain). And "May the odds ever be in your favor."
Let the games begin.
The horn sounds and several coaches rush toward the cornucopia. Apparently, none of them are afraid of possible death. The only coach that runs off in the other direction is Paul Johnson, he is the first survivor.
As Bob Stoops reaches for a bag of food, he is immediately speared by Mike Gundy's hair. Gundy takes the food and heads off into the stands. Al Golden and Derek Dooley fight over a bag of supplies but both fall to the ground after being touched by Bill Snyder who seemingly sucked the life out of them and got slightly younger in the process. He takes the supplies and runs off.
Randy Edsall is speared with a trident after… wait, a trident? Where the…? It seems as though Brady Hoke somehow snuck into the Games and used a trident he gave one of his players last year as an illegal weapon. He claimed he thought Edsall was Urban Meyer. Edsall is down and Hoke is disqualified and escorted from the building.
In the midst of all the chaos, June Jones, Mack Brown and Gary Pinkel are also lost. But before Pinkel died, he was able to poke Mike Leach in the eye with a shard from a broken jumbo wine glass. Luckily for Leach, he was able to fashion an eye patch from a piece of one of Chip Kelly's uniform options and the elastic from a pair of Under Armour underwear.
Kelly outraces Charlie Weis to a bag of goodies and trips him in the process leaving him in a prone position for Bo Pelini to easily pick off.
The field is getting pretty slim. Nine people are already down, one wounded and several others trying to claim what they can.
Todd Graham… Wait, where's Todd Graham? Ah, apparently, we received a text message that he found a better opportunity and he's headed there now. It was a spur of the moment thing and he didn't have time to tell us in person.
Bo Pelini, Urban Meyer, Dana Holgorsen and Mark Richt grab supplies and start to hurry off into the stands. They ask for Saban to join them, but he declines and says he's playing defense against all the good stuff remaining in the cornucopia.
Chip Kelly tries to join them but is picked off by Lane Kiffin before he can get to the group. Kiffin decides to take his life into his own hands and stay with Saban at midfield. No one else goes near them.
Chris Petersen was seen running into the cornucopia at the beginning of the games, but hasn't been seen since. Steve Spurrier, Les Miles escaped unharmed.
The chaos is over and 13 coaches remain — Paul Johnson, Bill Snyder, Mike Leach, Bo Pelini, Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Dana Holgorsen, Lane Kiffin, Chris Petersen, Steve Spurrier, Les Miles, Nick Saban and Mike Gundy. They all scatter to various parts of the stadium to see what they've gathered and hopefully stay alive for the night.
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