This is the third post in the College Football Hunger Games series. To read the first click here and to read the second post click here. This is all in good fun during a slow college football offseason.
The College Football Hunger Games march on.
When we last left, 13 coaches remained and they scattered to the seats of Dallas Cowboys Stadium in search of shelter and safety.
As a refresher, the only way to win the College Football Hunger Games is to be the last coach standing. We started with 24 coaches and lost 11 on the first day. More will be lost today.
A couple alliances have been formed. Lane Kiffin decided to stay with Nick Saban back at the cornucopia at midfield (much to Saban's chagrin), and Bo Pelini, Urban Meyer, Dana Holgorsen and Mark Richt decided to stick together. Steve Spurrier, Les Miles and Mike Gundy formed an alliance when they ran into each other on the concourse and realized they all shared a hatred of Alabama.
Unfortunately, Paul Johnson, who decided to run instead of trying to get supplies from the midfield cornucopia, was poisoned while trying to get liquid out of one of the cooling tubes connected to an ice machine. Bill Snyder and Mike Leach are trying to survive on their own while Chris Petersen has yet to be found, though he was not among the coaches lost during the first day.
Meanwhile, Spurrier, Miles and Gundy realize their packs aren't nearly as plentiful as they thought and they go out looking for food. Miles offers to gather up some grass from the field, but realizes the turf is artificial. So, the three walk the concourse for an hour until they happen upon a stack of concession candy in the middle of the walkway and a pool of blood next to it. The group figures that someone must have been gathering it before they were taken out. And starving from the events of the day, they rush to the pile and begin to eat.
Only, it's a trap.
Leach had cut off his own hand to form the blood pool. He replaced the hand with a hook he found in a storage shed in the bowels of the stadium and cauterized his wound with a soldering iron (of course he did). Leach, swinging in from the rafters, uses to hook to take out Spurrier and Gundy in one fell swoop. Miles is badly injured but manages to get away.
Seven coaches are definitely alive — Saban, Kiffin, Pelini, Meyer, Holgorsen and Leach — while Petersen remains missing, Miles and Richt are injured and possibly near the end and Snyder is in limbo. But in a pitch-black stadium at night anything can happen and no one is safe.
- Bill Snyder
- Urban Meyer
- Mark Richt
- Bo Pelini
- Steve Spurrier
- Dana Holgorsen