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Alabama synagogue tells congregates ‘all of us will suffer’ if the results of Alabama or Auburn games are revealed on Yom Kippur

Graham Watson
Dr. Saturday

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An Alabama synagogue has issued a severe warning – don’t tell them what’s going on with Alabama or Auburn football on Sept. 14 or you will suffer.

See, Sept. 14 is Yom Kippur, a High Holy Day, which prohibits those of the Jewish faith from eating, drinking, and, of course, watching football. Consequently, the Temple Emanu-El issued an announcement in the local paper warning those who might be watching the games not to tweet, text, call or inform any of their Jewish friends the outcome of the games, specifically those that involve Auburn and Alabama.

I like how the Temple also took credit for the SEC's past seven championships.

The announcement in part read:

“On Yom Kippu, and the hours afterward, we will not discuss or even insinuate the scores of football games. It is a violation of our Holy Day, and it will ruin the post Break-The-Fast experience some of us hope to have when the day is (sic) ends. NO SCORES, or high fives or Roll Tides or War Eagles. If even a peep gets out, our pages in the Book of Life will be compromised and all of us will suffer.”

Wow, that’s kinda intense, don’t ya think?

Staying uninformed is going to be especially difficult for Alabama fans, who desperately will be wanting to know if the Tide was able to get revenge on Johnny Manziel and Texas A&M. Win or lose, it’s going to be difficult to turn a deaf ear to the result.

But we applaud the Temple Emanu-El for scaring the crap out of its members. Even though football is a religion in the South, there is apparently one day of actual religion that trumps it.

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H/T Deadspin

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