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The Dagger: College Basketball Blog

Eric Cartman: “Stu-dent-ath-o-leets. Oh, that is brilliant sir.”

Jeff Eisenberg
The Dagger

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Every assault on the NCAA from the traditional media this year was all just a warm-up act for Wednesday night's main event.

That's when Southpark dusted off its powerful satirical guns and put the NCAA in its crosshairs.

In an episode entitled Crack Baby Athletic Association, Southpark takes aim at the notion of amateurism in high-major college sports. Cartman launches a basketball league for crack babies and profits greatly by not paying any of the players since he decides that would be "against the rules."

The signature scene of the entire episode comes when Cartman visits the president of the University of Colorado clad as a slave owner to find out how the school is able to get away with not paying its "slaves." The Colorado president feigns ignorance, leading to the following hilarious exchange.

Cartman: "You have some mighty strong-looking workers here, sir. I'd be willing to offer $40 for two of the white ones and $50 for the blacks."

President: "Are you referring to our student athletes?"

Cartman: "Stu-dent-ath-o-leets. Oh, that is brilliant sir. Now when we sell their likeness for video games, how do we get around paying for our sla ... student athletes then?" {YSP:MORE}

President: "Look there are good reasons our student-athletes aren't paid."

Cartman: "I ain't arguing. If they got paid, how would we make all our money?"

The above arguments are nothing we haven't heard numerous times before, yet they're especially persuasive coming from the mouth of Eric Cartman. The next time NCAA president Mark Emmert or Big Ten chieftain Jim Delaney use the phrase "student-athlete," try to hold back a chuckle.

You'll be hearing it in your head with Cartman's ridiculous Southern slave owner accent instead.

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